Well, little Jaquie O'Neill wins the prize for the question about the bear. She hit the nail on the head. Among other revelations tonight, hers is the one that will be best remembered. Here is what she posted on the Streetfire website...
"A bear to me is very strong, shows no fear or weaknes, and totally relies on its own strength to survive. (I"m now saying you are like that!) Maybe God is wanting you to rely on Him instead of your own strength, and let Him work through your weakness? That is what I got out of that? Praying for you Todd. Jacqueline"
Aint that a kicker. She hit it dead on. She hardly knows me, we've been in the same airspace about four times in her young life. She just graduated college and was invited to intern with Cindy Jacobs and Dutch Sheets- do you s'pose that's a hand in glove kind of fit? Uhhh, yup.
So God's calling me on my self reliance. I don't prophesy so much because of my self reliance. I probably don't get healed because of my self reliance. I have not dyed my hair because that would be such obvious self reliance to lack any credibility. And I've tried not to be so.
I ask all the time for God to do things, but I think that the way that it really works is kind of like this.
"Whatcha doin' there, God? Oh that looks like a pretty cool thing, can I watch? Well here, let me help. If you'd just step back a little I could... would you hand me that wrench, you know what I really need is a sandwich, could you go inside and get me..."
Like a parent doing his kids science fair project only in reverse. Why would I trust Him to do these things right, after all I live here on the planet.
And it may be why I don't have the cash flow that I know that He'd like to see me with. I'd be handing money out because "they need it" like it was my own money. It wouldn't be. He provides me with this body as a shelter. He has provided me with food to eat. I really don't know anyting about this gratitude thing at all. If I work, I earned the cash, not that He made certain that I was healthy and able to work.
Well Lord, I confess that I am self reliant, but I'm asking you to help me to learn this lesson and drive the bear out of my life. Like Edmund losing the dragon's scales, make quick and lasting work of it. Amen.