Did I say turn up the heat? What the hell was I drinking. I have about ten days to find a new residence, the last check that I wrote overdrew my account by $2.86 (that'll cost me $30.86), and today I got a ticket for not having proof of insurance... the cop stopped me as I was driving 1 block from Safeway (where I went to get ice for a wedding) back to the church because he didn't like my tail lights and nailed me for not having proof of insurance. So now I'm homeless, bankrupt and unemployed miscreant.
When I said turn up the heat I wasn't looking for a prairie equivalent of peat to hit the fan. That stuff doesn't burn as clean when it's fresh, and the aroma isn't anything like pine. Pony McNuggets, if you catch my drift.
My friend brought up the crowns that the 24 elders in heaven cast before the throne of Christ. She gave me a rhema word, but she got it from the Father, so it's really not mine to share here. But Rev. 4:11 says, "You are worthy, oh Lord, to receive glory and honor and power; for You created all things, and by Your will they exist and were created."
I have to go back to the night that I lost my irish reminder ring, and my rant before God that ended with, "If I'm not on your mind, then I'm not in existence."
I'm homeless, bankrupt and and on my way to work out a deal with a judge and somehow, I climbed onto the spit myself. I feel like I'm on the spit that's hitting the fan... I think that's gonna be as close as I can get to saying it without saying it. It's one thing to actually say it, but there is a little posterity here... or maybe it's my posterior that I'm trying to cover, either way, I'll go no closer.
I just know that He says that he chastises those He loves. I hope that I can get through this and make Him proud. And my family. I have family that takes me pretty seriously, and they have a love for me that is beyond my understanding... They are a gift to me from God. He gave them to me. I share them, but they are mine and they make me rich in the midst of it all. They are a light in my darkness, the voice that calls to me when I am lost. They are the ones who, after I told them that I thought I could see the light at the end of the tunnel but it seems that it was Amtrack, they told me I was going through training, and if your not groaning right now, I didn't tell it right.
Anyway, there is a confession of my angst. I have begun to see the value of the crowns cast at the feet of Jesus. There are no jewels, only reflections and mine is going through a refinement even now.