Tonight I heard a verse that I'm sure that I've skimmed over. It's in Luke and it says blessed is he who is not offendedd by the Lord. It's an obscure little thing that Jesus spoke to the disciples of John the Baptist when they came to ask him if he was who they thought that he was. After John had heard the voice of God. After John had seen the Holy Spirit fall like a dove onto his shoulder. After they had seen him heal and multiply food and raise the dead... but just befire John lost his head. I suppose that I could find losing my head offensive.
God know that I've been offended by less. And then it makes me see why the bride lowers her veil. She has expectations. I've thought about this being the reason that I haven't found a mate. The packaging is a little rough. There's an expectation that doesn't look like it will be met.
With Jesus that means so much more. There are such high expectations, and we want what we want. Surely he can do, all he has to do is speak the word, if he loved me the way that I deserve to be loved, if he loved me as much as he loves so-and-so- I an't go on with the list because it's just a pointless parade of excuses, many of which I have forgotten and don't need to renew an old arguement.
I lost a ring. I was offended. I got over it, and he gave it back to me. Then he asked me to give it to him. It was a simple ring. It had it's purpose, but it was a simple ring, not worth anything but sentiment and he asked me to give it to him in n offering. I wept, but I gave it... You should see the ring that I have now, but it can't be too precious to me or I will have to giv it to him as well.
But we don't want to give what is ours. We are like the two year old who has just learned the concept of "mine." I know that there are some who give, but few who really give "til it hurts." I don't perceive this to be a cultural thing, I think that it's pervasively human, and has many faces. We will not lose what we have gained unless we know the reason. That is the biggest harm in loss for us, and if we make the big sacrifices we have expectation for how it should be replaced. Then we are okay if God goes beyond our expectation, but if it's not within the realm of our understanding, well, we've had enough of that.
I don't have an answer, or even a way to end this post. I only know that I heard a phrase that a man used to describe himself. I may have used it before, but it's true, more so today than yesterday. I am a prisoner of hope- probably eternally, because I know that he's got something else up his sleeve. I hope that I can trust it.