Today was the consumation of a couple of weeks expectation gone awry. My mother was near by and didn't give a word in my direction. She didn't call, nor did my sister, who apparently took charge of the trip. She called my one of my best friends to say that they'd be around, but never me, and the plans made with my friend were so contorted by the time to perform them, no one knew what was happening.
Anyway, I am praying to God that He will get closer- allow me to really get a dose of His "Papa" side. He's going to have to or these abandonment issues that I can't seem to get past will continue to fester. And it's hard to be a child when it wasn't ever really a big part of your youth... BUT I have a promise that He will activate a fathers heart within me by giving me that confidence and showing me that He will in fact never leave or abandon me. I think that He's even big enough to beat this one- but I guess that I'll have to give it to Him for that to happen... Well... I'm tryin' to.
iyokiphi