This is the joyous occasion of a boy's Bar Mitvah, as the Russion Orthodox Jews do it. This is outside of the secure area on the way into the Western Wall, where we had just seen Hillary Clinton in for some photo-ops.
The boy on the shoulders is celebrating his entry to man-hood, and the crowd included parents and sisters, it was difficult to figure out who was family who was guest and who was incidental.
The two guys with the horns were blowing them after the fashion of someone trying to create a spectacle... little did they know the spectacle that they were about to meet in the "clintonian" entourage.
I am left with an inherited spectacle currently. A co-worker took
her own life and was found by a couple of my friends. They are my friends and so I will make sure that they are going through the process of mourning and grief that they must, having been the ones closest to her. Reactions have been interesting from others. Disbelief, shock, the intelect kicks in and you want to know how or why. And the other common element to peoples response is about her dog.
Why do I juxtapose this with a young man's Bar Mitzvah- I would like to say that I don't know, but I suppose it's because we go through stages in life, some with fanfare and some without. A boy is celebrated into manhood, a woman has lost all hope. Ecclesiastes says that there is a season for everything, and I see that there are some who just can't wait for the final fruit to ripen, but I can't help but think that even in those moments there is the Brother who was the agent in our adoption who watches and waits with an attentinve ear, waiting to hear us say His name in order to get our attention so He can hold us, even in our last moments of anguish.
I can't help but feel somehow that Jesus was there watching and when she was free of her earthly body, Jesus took her by the chin, wiped her tears away and smiled at her with a smile that spoke of the love that she was longing for. I don't know the outcome of it all, but I know that life is a gift and we all do with it what we can.
Karen you have strengthened my theory that fair is a myth. We will miss you for time, but you will never be on your own again.

Well, this is not in line with where I've been going lately in this blog, but it does speak my heart on a matter.
My Mom and I have agreed to disagree about worship. She is fine with what I grew up with- in fact, needs it to enter true worship, doesn't believe that the Holy Spirit can move unless it's that kind of worship.
I can worship in just about anything, I think that if I have the will to worship He has the will to be worshipped. I don't believe that we can worship in spirit and in truth unless He is enabling us to do so, therefore I wrote this one saturday before thanksgiving after hearing that the renewal pharisees were comparing one worship ministry to another. I admit it is a reaction, but I do believe that it is truth.
The worship Leader is the one who sets the target. They should not necessarily be in the midst of the journey at the time of corporate worship, but rather provide the means for the congregation to get there.
There must also be a time and a place to raise up and challenge worship leaders to go higher. A new venue, a new congregation, a new songlist- but all of these things require an element of risk and most worship leaders don't like to because they are easily cajoled or easily beaten to submission.
God said "touch not my anointed and do my prophets no harm." Worshippers fall into the category of "my anointed."
I have heard (and likely made) many critical statements about worshippers, but I didn't really understand that the role of a worship leader is to give the congregation tools, and then it is encumbent on the conngregation to figure out how to use them, not judge them as better or worse, more or less, than someone elses (gifting).
When Jericho fell (I don't have any pictures from Jericho) the Lord required them to march in silence six days around the wall. Six days without carping.
Carping is an axe laid to the root worship with abandon, and if a worshipper, who is ultra-sensitive by Gods design hears critique without love their ability dwindles. Their freedom is stunted and the target is lowered from high praisse to low, from the tabernacle to the temple, from what is acceptable to God to what is acceptable to man.

The picture above is from Mayan Herod, also called Gideons Spring where he chose 300 men to fight against an army without number. This was an act of worship with abandon, to whittle your army down to 300 men against the nations of the east.
Let us ponder abandon for a bit.

The Family Plot

I think that we just happened along past this in the hillside. This is what the tomb that Jesus was buried in would have looked like from the outside with the stone and all. We stopped, but didn't get out which was fine, as I am still not sure of this tombs status, but what a way to be disposed of, eh? covered with things that you hope will smell better than you can ever smell bad and shut up in something like this to keep animals out. I'm not sure that I'd be willing to go.

Cesarea
Just to the left there was where we ended up sitting and learing about Herod and what he built, what was common for any roman city built outside of Rome. An amphitheater, a race track for horses and chariots, an arena.
Here was the amphitheater. They claim that the accoustics are so good that you can get a way with a whisper and here it in the top row. I was called upon to stand and sing and so I sang Amazing Grace and the group sang along.
My group was sitting on the left there just in front of the aisle where the tunnels came out and I stood at ground level- someone told me that was where I should stand. Perhaps the stage would have been better- and it was pretty amazing to get to sing in a place like that.


Cesarea is an on going archeological dig as is shown here and a port city on the mediteranean sea. I'm sure that it was grand when it was newly built, and even now the beauty of the sea is phenomenal.
In the middle of this picture are some columns that had been recovered and in the forground is the stage from the far left side of the stage in the topmost row of seating. Despite that it was built by Herod who murdered every male child under two, it was a marvel.

I asked my friend Seraphim to pray and ask God for a word of encouragement and this is what he received and in turn, I received;

Seems to me I'm hearing the Lord say:

"Elijah didn't hear me in the storm, or in the earth shake, but in the still small voice -- but for you, you'll only hear my voice in the storm."

Then,

"life is problems living is solving them. the peace you ask for is not the peace of a quiet sunny meadow, the peace you seek is the peace of the bird dreaming in her nest safe in her home in the tree in the middle of the terrible thunder storm.

you asked that i use you in this war. know that i am beginning to use your intercessory dance and prayer to move back the darkness in the territory i've placed you in. you may never see the results in the physical, but one day, when you are with me in eternity i will show you what you have reaped

i love you and am with you. remember el shaddai is also the God of the Storm."

An interesting correlation that I had never heard before.
When a close family member in the jewish tradition, a piece of cloth from their clothing is torn as sign of mourningand the clothing that it is cut from is worn for 5 days without respite and then burned. Clothing being something that guards our manifest being from many things and hides our vulnerabilities and nakedness.
Scritpure speaks of the body as a house and as a temple. Jesus said I will destroy this temple and in three days raise it up. He spoke of cleaning house in reference to deliverance.
Now, I wish that I had this revelation on my own, but I really have to be led down the path by the hand.
The tabernacle- outer courts, holy place and holy of holies, a tri-part structure with a veil to hide the heart of God which is the mercy seat and at the moment that Jesus spirit left his body, according to Mark, the veil, the covering over God's heart was torn in two. The Father mourning for His Son, who had just cried out, "Why have you forsaken me!"
He tore the veil, the clothing that covered his manifest presence in an act of grief (not repentance, but grief)
Amazing love, how can it be...

After Cesarea we went to Megido overlooking the Jezreel valley.

Re 16:16 - Show ContextHe gathered them together into the place which is called in Hebrew, "Har-Megiddo."

Megido is a geological formation called a tel like in Tel Aviv and it means that it is a hill that has been built upon a city in ruins. Megido was conoquered 26 times and some sites were rebuilt each time with the same purpose. They know that one circular platform has always been the site of a temple and referred to in scripture as a high place and the place that they have always thought were stables, though, they have recently concluded may have been for grain storage.
The reason that the site was so desirable was that it overlooked the crossroads of commerce, it was the center of the fertile crescent.I tried to get a panorama shot from the side, but I don't know how that will turn out.

Well, I was going to try to do this in order, but I am moved to share about my baptism in the Jordan.
One of my travel mates is a knowledgable teacher and shared with me some of his knowledge on baptism. It was part of the rite of initiation into the levitical priesthood and included an anointing with oil, and so understanding that I have a place amongst the levites I bought a ram's horn shofar to fill with oil and and some oil to fill it.
I went to Israel to see the beginning of the time of my destiny, and I was baptised about thirty years from the time I was first baptised in water by the same man, which I was pretty excited about. Gary has always believed in me and a calling on my life, so he was absolutely okay with a change in protocol on my behalf, the only problem was that I didn't look at the hole in the bottle and know how it would fill the horn before I did it and so where I intended to have about 2 ounces dumped on me, about 5 drops came out, so Gary filled the horn with water and proceeded.
I contemplated breaking the bottle and dumping what I could into the horn, but I was standing in the place prepared for baptisms and did not want broken glass in the pool to be any part of my legacy there and so it was left to water to carry the oil out of the horn.
Oddly enough, though I didn't understand God not interfering in my weak planning to encourage me on into the future, I was frustrated by it, as has often been the case in times past.
And I don't yet know what seeds of ministry were planted but they were well watered. Soon it will all be in the open and I won't have big money worries, just worries about making my connections, but that's a whole other story.

Let's see. We left Seattle sunday and spent a bit of time in London monday. Went to the tube station that lets out across the street from Big Ben, then flew out for Tel Aviv that night to arrive at about 0430. We were all a little ragged at that point.
We got on the bus and met Devorah, without doubt the most insightful and knowledgable guide in the Holy Land and we were off and running. We went to Herod's port city at Cesarea where I was asked to sing from the base of the stage to illustrate the great acoustics in such a place. I also got to climb a little bit on the old viaduct that ran from Carmel to Cesarea.
This is Jacob, Reed and myself where
the viaduct ends in Cesarea.

We drove through and saw the huge banana farms and learned some about the kibutz in the area.
Devorah also talked about how the Rothschilds started a vineyard there for Carmel Wines, but she never mentioned what they do with the prickley pear cactus that were being farmed, and there were some other places as well. Too Tired to catch it then, too tired to remember it now.
Talk about sensory overload.

I just got in last night after being in Israel for 7 days- two days in Tiberias and 5 days in Jerusalem. Too much to put here in one day but I think that I will try and re-live some of it here over the next little while.
The hardest part of the trip was witnessing how thoughtless people can be, and I was probably the most. I typically come with the attitude that people are christians and will approach things from a conservative standpoint with grace and mercy abounding. Especially when we were in a foreign land.
I have come to the conclusion that the older generation believes that they did everything possible during world war two and the holocaust is just history that the time for reaction is past... That cleanliness really is next to godliness... That you are safe in any country if you are an american and any opinion that wanders into your head has validity no one has the right to stop you from sppeaking it out no matter how inane it is... It is incumbent on your tour host and guide to allow you to wander at will and then to come and find you at the expense of time and the hopes of others that are on the tour.
That off my chest, I had a great time. Baptised in the Jordan by the man who baptised me thirty odd years ago, diving into the Dead Sea (a challenge from somebody at church... it only hurt for a while- the aftermath is like rubbing your eyes with rock salt) and walking barefoot in places where it is certain that Jesus walked.
I'll tell details later on some of these things. Comment if you have questions.
t

faithful are the wounds of a friend

Today was a bit rough.
There is a brother that I work with that came up in Shreveport, La. who is a black man. Two cultural differences that I am trying to deal with and I keep coming up on the wrong side of things.
Twice his name has come up in duscussions of sexual harrasment, and yet I really don't believe that he's guilty in either case- One isn't really even worthy of mentioning and we collectively (road supervisor team) made the decision that it was most likely a misunderstanding, and to some degree, a scatter-gun vendetta kind of a deal.
Today he was talking to a white girl that is dating a black man, and makes it no secret. He was chatting with her this morning and some statements were made that could be easily misunderstood if they were taken out of context (that's how I heard them- out of context) and then they were reported by someone that was not involved in the conversation to someone that tends to believe the worst of people. All around it is a somewhat volatile box of tinder.
I spoke to him as much to protect him as to communicate the official word on the subject, but I came away feeling so wrong. I believe in justice and I believe that I am as responsible for it as anyone else, and I'm thinking that a man feels accused of an act that just isn't in him... twice... and I'm not sure that he knows that he's important to me and the company.
I have to study to understand this harrassment business. Particularly since the person who spoke out has made me uncomfortable with things that she has said in the past.
When the "victim" was asked about it, she said that she could handle whatever was happening- isn't this something outside of the definition of harrassment? Isn't harrassment something that is defined on a case by case basis by the "victim" of unwanted attention?
I feel as though I have done a dis-service to my boss as hurting my friend who I believe is without guilt in this instance.
I don't know if I'll come back to this subject or not, but I have purged a minute amount of my angst here so far.
We'll see what tomorrow brings.

I got into a discussion on theooze last night about grace and how hard it is to receive or understand. I don't know whether I brought them up or Catie did, but the position of the Jews came into it- Ah, it was whether or not the church is getting better with age.
My view is that the church suffers the same kind of effect that the rest of creation seems to- the further from creation, the further the fall.
She brought up the Hebrew being the chosen people, and it seems to me that God said "Hey Abe, I like you and I'm going to do something here for you," but over time He regretted His decision a little and told them that He chose them because they were just enough to identify, but not enough to bew taken seriously and therefore He could show His intentions t'ward man through them.
The Jews are chosen to provide a deliverer, a saviour, the Christ, but they have chosen to be really quite passive about it, other than when they adamantly deny that it is Jesus.
And the church today shudders at change. God doesn't change, but our angle of observation does and we need to realize that it is happening, rather than denying that we can see Him from another side.
Which leads us to the question of the engagement of the flesh these kinds of matters. We have to stop being afraid of it. The flesh will not just lay quietly down to die, and so we must expect it to roll about, and make a ruckus- it's dying, after all. Or at the very least swelling up so that you can see the need to treat the infection.
These are certainly interesting times we live in. And I hope that I'm at least 65% right about my stuff, here. The other 35%... I can't identify it or it would change.Let me know if you have a thought.

I can feel this welling up slowly. It's suddenly like I was born for this.
Thinking last night about this upcoming engagement I remembered laying on the floor at the Fireland Belfast meetings in 1998, godsmacked over something Greg Austin prophesied over me about a knight or being knighted (I don't remember much, but that comes back to me so far) and as I lay there I remember acting out opening my heart and exposing it to the warfare in the room and praying that it would get inside of me. The cadence, the structure, the unforced unity.

It was that night that this seed was planted in me.

I had never been a drummer, never really had a desire beyond the bored drumming of my fingers on occasion. Now I can't believe the standards I have for how it's supposed to work. (God deliver me from that please) but I am getting jazzed.

The following is a work in progress. Not all of it is represented here but I am open to constructive suggestions made by anyone who should happen to find and read this post.

It begins with the principles sitting around an abba drum... Or the leader sitting and beating it and as the principles are ready to join they come in and begin to play in unison. This will continue through an invitation to the Holy Spirit to lead, to invoke a spirit of unity and to free those in attendance to pray and dance.
The abba is continuing throughout this period.
Then the principles, again at the leading of the spirit, will move to there own kits or hand-drums and begin to play in submission to the abba for a time and then all will fall silent for a moment.
The silence will be broken by a principle hearing a spirit led beat whether in exultation and hallel or a call to arms. From this point on it's for the people to play what they feel in their heart. Dancers dance, flaggers flag, intercessors crunch...
I must find a signal for when something specific needs to be done in a unison

Cacophony is out, I think. Unity for the city is a major battle in this endeavor- dynamics, tempo, rhythm are going to be the greatest weapons in our hands during this event.

There is much that I have yet to consider, but these bits need, I believe, to be held on to.

Well, so warfare...
I am of the opinion that there are so many things that we as a body are conflicted about, at what point do we begin to die to ourselves, to those truths that we wrap our minds around to the extent that there is a barrier built that prohibits any new ideas from getting through.
I watched it with the renewal movement. We have a new truth and so you must bow to our new revelation, as though it is a new form of a God that we so all agree never changes.
We relish in our new revelation, rubbing the noses of those who don't, won't or perhaps can't see it our way in the delight of our specialness and abandon any thought of pondering how the truths interact.
This is true with the pomo as well. The new generation is having an awful time of dealing with the previous generations need for definition, and ridicule ensues because it is a hard wired part of human nature. I see them reaching back and reachig forward with goals and hopes, but they are as guilty of abandoning the parts that worked as any other philosophy in the past when it was birthed.
My experiences are mainly in urban America, but the pervasive life seems to be hopelessly entangled in an "after me you come first" mentality.
I am cut off on a near daily basis by vehicles driven by youngsters, and yesterday the glaring example was a car with a "BODY PIERCING SAVED MY LIFE" sticker in the window and a fish on the bumper.
I guess that it's discipleship that is missing. The IRC seems to be preaching a message without a soul. There is flesh and spirit, but I don't see it with any depth.
Perhaps it's our motives that are wrong. It's not supposed to be about going to heaven. It's about knowing God in such a way that He can pick you out in a crowd.
I'm thinking about making a t-shirt that says "JESUS DIED TO GET YOUR ATTENTION"
And why not... I haven't been flogged since the first Harry Potter movie came out.

I should manage to be a little more cohesive in my thought process this evening, although I didn't get home until about 0330 this morning.
"Why," you ask? Well, that is the topic that I am addressing.
Trevor came down to the greater Seattle area for a conference, and he is the usual catalyst for the action to follow. Spiritual Warfare Dancing at a club in Seattle.
We, in fact, engage in warfare in a fetish club in dark neighborhood in Seattle and last night we tore it up, well, some things, not the club.
It started out with the three of us sitting outside praying about assignments for our time inside. There were three chairs on the sidewalk in front and we were approached twice once by a girl who was laughing about our various hairstyles and once by a guy who thought that we were perhaps the authorities from within (we had already paid the cover, so in some sense we paid for some legal use of the place and therefore carried some authority in that sense)and wanted to know about getting in to see someone, a room mate or something.
Trevor was to do some warfare over the Black Sea and Hungary, Dave was to battle three leviathans and I was to do some recon work for future trips and establish some new levels in my life.
We went in and I was engaged immediately. One of the things that I fight is the fear of man or intimidation. I came in wearing clothing that would be acceptable in the club, black pants and shirt, and as soon as I got under the black light I was covered in lint. It hadn't been there before (I'm sure that it was but I hadn't thought things through yet) and felt like I stuck out like some kind of wack job (which in all fairness I am within the club context) with white strands and etc all over me... But I was out during the first song that we were there for.
Dancing was wild. I'm not as sore this morning as I though I would be, but I haven't dome anything all day and I'm no less sore than I was. And I noticed that I dance in a largely celtic manner with my hands still while my feet move, another thing that has been a source of intimidation. W00T I'm not so weird after all.
During the time I think that I saw a need to get back to Shaftsbury Square in Belfast, and I need the boys that I met when I was over to go with, I think.
I tink d'ere up to it!
Anyhoo, ballywhoo, I'm sittin' on the rest for now. It may come up again later, and it may not, but watch the black sea and keep an eye on hungary. Somehting's gonna happen in those regions. ;^)

I was talking with Steve tonight about meetings in Hoquiam/Aberdeen. He needs a worship service and would like to have one from the area, or at least as close as Oly. I am kind of at a loss.
He said that there are pastors in teh area that are afraid of renewal, preaching against it in the area, against the Healing Rooms that have been established there.
What is our world about today if it's not about unity. I wonder if "the great deception" may not be to fear the flesh. The flesh is the vehicle that puts you in position to do Gods work, it is ammoral at worst. The flesh is not what will lead you into hell, it's rebellion. It's rejecting God and the road to His doorstep, the cross of The Christ, not whether you hold your mouth right when you open your hymnal.

I recently heard from soneone that their folks don't like a particular ministry because they don't reach them. It's a commercial radio station, they are going to attract the people who are going to spend the money, not the "I must hear a hymn", and "We tip 10% when we go out because it honors God... unless of course we don't like the waiter."

When did americans begin to think that we are so smart that the rest of the world needs to do what we do or we should go and tell them what's right. Those same people that think that a little girl (22 or so) is a hero for standing in front of a bulldozer in a foreign country to protest a war, and it is a war, and gets killed by the armyhas any right to do as she did.
I'm all for passion and feeling as though you are doing something good, but when you begin to believe that you as an individual can stop a war in a land where you have asked permission to visit by standing in front of a weapon- by any means other than pleaing with God, you have gone over the edge of sanity and believe a madness that will surely overtake the world as John prophesied, as Jesus prophesied, where we will be willing to look to a man for the big answers and he will deliver and then we will again see hitlerian dictatorship rise with the same results, only no man will be able to point and say that he had anything to do with the destruction, but all will stand in awe of a God that meant what He said... We cannot save ourselves from the horrors to come. We cannot save ourselves from destruction wrought by our own will and emotions. Only Jesus has eared the right to sit on a throne over the world. Only Jesus can introduce us to the Father that we left in the garden. Only Jesus. We cannot know the Father without knowing the Son. And we choose any another way.
We know that we don't know the right way. We know that man screwed up faith. Created religion out of it and we don't like that. Humanism is as afraid of the spirit as the church is afraid of the flesh. interesting dichotomy, eh?

I am so looking forward to this movie even if Dissney is doing it. As well, this is a test post trying out the pic thingy.

Weel, I think that I'm going to try to be better about this. I was at a meeting a couple of weeks ago and I'm going to say two things here one is just for me to remember (you are not selfish, Todd) and the other becomes a reason for becoming more regular about writing here.
The other is that God said that He is going to give me revelation like John Crowder. Deena said tha she asked God why their wasn't a guy like him around here and apparently God told him that I am that guy. Now there's a blow to the low self-esteem ego that I've been currying all these years (which in and of itself is revelation of a sort)

February, huh? I'm so...
I was reading a friends blog today called "Shoulda Coulda" He was trying to sort out a 30 day blog and managewd to post 8 times. I'm not so bad as I thought ;)

Work is not going so well currently. Opportunity to become a supervisor, already on track to be a trainer and I'm unable to do one because and not allowed to do the other. I did decide that I was going to have to follow the money, but I don't know after last night.
We have one gal working there the actually made the statement when I was talking to her on the phone that she "doesn't care how big I am" as though I was trying to intimidate her in a physical manner.
She also came to the wrong conclusion that I had called and asked for one of her peers earlier in the day because I was working out some kind of a deal to get out of working this weekend.
Sometime in the recent months she asked me about wether or not I had ever pressed charges against anyone for harrassment and when I responded by saying no she informed me that she had. At that time I was outside of the building talking to one of my co-workers while she was inside ostensibly doing her job.
I do my best to ignore her because I can't follow her train of thought on anything so far.
Oh, I almost forgot- she accused me of being an arian once because she heard Bruce tease me about being a skin head.
My workplace is NOT safe for me, and I don't like it one bit. I may have to find another job very soon.

Listening to NPR tonight I learned that that Arthur Murray passed away. Initially I thought, "Why in the heck all the chatter about the loss of the guy who made dancing readily learned by anyone in America?"
As I listened I learned that, in fact, this guy was a playright. I never read anything he wrote, never saw his plays... And yet, as they told his story, I wondered if he had come to any knowledge of Christ. I wondered if he had ever had any interaction with Jesus that he recognized as such.
Then my mind wandered into that place that wonders if my life has any meaning. What have a done that wiull be lasting. What will be left in the footprint that I leave behind, as so many people have had a cameo appearance in my life. Will Gods' grace fall on me in such a way that others will be blessed? Will I leave a lasting mark on their lives that points them to Christ?

I just watched The Terminal. I thought that it would be the heartwarming story of a man whose country left him when he needed it most and the land of grace was represented by the anal. AND there was the hope of romance.
INSTEAD I see a man whose pride makes him unbending, an honest man driven to rebellion, aided by the society that the agent represented, and dropped by the woman whom he spoke into the heart of.
He spoke to her the truth. He spoke to her from his heart. Her history had no bearing on his feelings. WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO MAKE THEM SEE! Why are they so blind or bent on destruction or filled with hate for themselves or so sure that they will find the one guy in 82 million that is both desirable and sweet- Why isn't swwet what's desirable, anyway. I'm just frickin' tired.

This week has been rough- up and down, life and death... makes me tired.
On one hand I got some excellent words of encouragement from friends that fit nicely with things that I have heard before. And I have begun to see favor and respect at work- something that has been there, but I haven't been in a situation to see it.
On the other hand, I had a kid run out in front of my bus and I stopped about 18 inches from hitting him.
I got to see Rich Burroughs on his way home. A remarkable recovery, after being unable to get out of a recliner for four days having had a couple strokes, etc, Laidlaw called the cops when they hadn't been able to get ahold of him. He was looking pretty good for what he'd been through, but dang, the guy was just about my age. It was pretty amazing... and scarey... and Shea had some episode- I don't know what happened, but his eyes went dim-
I am going to have to make that appointment for my own check up- and get back on my BP meds.
Enough for now. I'll catch you maybe when I'm interesting.

Gosh, better than a month since I had anything to say. I really don't now either.
Hmmmmmm... whelp.... nahp, bubkus.