It seems as though I bitch as much as anything else here- perhaps more than anything else, but that season will change soon, I hope... I have faith that it will.
Last week I went hunting with a number of guys from church. Great guys. Good cooks, good servants, good brothers whom I have learned that I can trust.
At one point I came to the realization that the brother that I didn't have had now been replaced by two, both of whom I had already known that about, but the realization hit. I can count on these two brothers to challenge me to grow just through interaction.
Anyway, a week spent hunting deer in the mountains. Sound cool? It was great, but I had my issues.
One of the group began and then left after two days of the week expected. It was kind of hard on the group as he was someone who takes charge when he's around, but then he just winked out- gone.
I can make a number of excuses for him, but I don't need to. He did what he did for the reasons he did it.
My issues were more about how brass the heavens seemed the whole time.
I prayed and asked creator, provider, where is the blessing? And I didn't see one legal animal that hadn't already been taken. I struggled with that all week.
Then one of the group that has been involved for the last three years had a dental disaster. Absessed tooth. I know that pain, and I was pretty hung up over it through dinner and pretty adamant about praying for it.
This was on "Miracle Mountain" where a falling tree righted itself and waited until it was leaning correctly to fall where they wanted it to. Where miracles happened. And I prayed for a dental miracle and... nada.
I guess that I am definitly not an experiential christian. If that were the case, I would be an agnostic, but I'm not... yet. relax, I don't think that I will be any time soon, but you know, I get pretty damn tired of being ignored by the lover of my soul. I can't figure this thing out.
Loads of questions. Pretty close to knowing what the gospel is, though. Jesus plan of salvation and the reason why... not the extraneous stuff that many try to sell as the gospel. Maybe I'll get into that next time. I think that this is enough for now.