Weird dream last night/this morning. I was in a managerial position and came up to one of my employees (a girl I knew in high school). She was upset and I came to her from behind and gave her a brotherly hug, felt her stomach and felt that she had a particular roundness- she was pregnant.
This explained her emotion, as somehow what I thought meant something to her and she was letting me down. I just told her that it didn't matter and she was about to be blessed.
And then the baby came out, and was very odd looking, and could go back at will. Her stomach was formed from the outside to somehow accomodate the babies return.
I don't know what that means, but I suspect it means something.

Of the seven people on the worship team tonight, Mark saw a vision of five of us. He described us as looking old, thin, blackened eyes- he described people who needed the church to come along side and pray for as levites of our body.
We talked about it on the way home for a bit and I kept hearing malnourished, famine, haggard.
I then realized and then shared with Mark that it was the ones who lead out on the team. The ones who do solo work or lead out vocally who he saw. And then realized that the congregation needs to somehow nurture the team. We have been giving out for quite some time, and haven't received the prayer lift from the congregation can rejuvenate a war weary troop.
I don't know what's next out of it, but that's what Mark saw and how I interpreted it. and there you have it. Now what are you going to do with it?

As far as theooze goes, I have been careful of late what I read, whose posts I read. Some feel a little like poison to me, but I am acquainted with their hearts and beleive that the Lord will count much good to them that seems like foolishness to me. I know that He is bigger than me, and I find that fearsome and comforting at the same time. There is much, I have learned in my years, open to interpretation in the word. No one has the market cornered on truth, and there is a cultural bbias in the truth of the north american christian (as well as all of the others). North america is the only country where a pre-trib rapture doctrine is even considered, and here we look at it as though the words came straight out of Jesus mouth. If there was no room for interpretation, we would all believe exactly the same thing.
Two things Paul said that give me comfort when I oppose another's doctrine-
We must work out our own salvation- that means that I can't work out someone elses walk with Jesus, and therefore they won't have the same walk as me...
All things are permissable, not all things are profitable. That's either true or it isn't. I am becoming more convinced that Jesus is about whole heartedness in our beliefs (which you exhibit admirably) and unity of purpose. The word says that when two or more are gathered in unity... That's where His power lies. Theooze is about exploration more than anything else. I find broader definition of who God is as I learn the experience of others. He is like a diamond and we, being small, can only see one facet at a time. I beleive that missionaries with the western mindset have destroyed some things that God will restore to cultures like the native american, aboriginal, hawiian, various and sundry african tribes- they have had much to offer and enhance the worship experience, but the western mindset- church as we know it here, has labeled much evil without understanding.
Some dayI hope to put together a band of lovers who use the indigenous that has been cast out of the church without a second thought (or a first real thought)
to create an authentic worship atmosphere to draw in those that have been ostracized on the mission field. Far too many casualties due to closed minds or an inability to find God off the map, beyond the status quo. Can we go there? Is it possible? I'm in the hunt.

As I'm getting older, I often wonder (perhaps worry) about the footprint that I will leave behind when I'm gone. If I'll have any progeny to carry on, if I'll make a difference in someones' understanding of the world, or the Saviour of it.
I was contemplating this today. Mortality and legacy- my dad and the things that I have received as part of his legacy. It's all real stuff. Material goods.
Don't misunderstand, I appreciate these things, but there are things that I would love to have that would inspire actual memories. Ideas that he had, beliefs that we held, words of affection. Words left behind for me to read and re-read. Things made for me, or written for me or dedicateed in some way to me.
I don't mean to sound like my dad was an uncaring old codger, nor should I whine about mis-use, abuse or abandonment. This is not the issue.
The issue, the thought is that perhaps there are things that we can leave that are more ethereal, less finite, or ethereal but rather concrete in an ambiguos sort of way.
If it sounds like I don't know what I'm talking about, it's because I don't. I'm trying to work it outso that it might be a concept that I would share with others, but in doing so, it would become the actual working out of the topic, wouldn't that be cool. I don't even know where to go from here, but it's a topic to be re-visited sometime when my brain stops hurting ;)

Last night Pastor Rick talked about unity in the church. Specifically in our church.
We are a collective that has been compared to Davids men in the Cave of Abdullum, and that fits us pretty well. Mighty people hidden waiting for time and opportunity.
So last night he was talking about the the places where we aren't of the same mind during the service- one soaks while another worships- we have... I have been using the corporate time for personal use.
After the service he asked if anyone had anything to say about it all, if God was telling anyone else anything about it. There were soe who had heard something relevant, some who heard something- I heard that it wasn't so important what a body believed, but that there was unity. The lutherans, baptists, methodists, denominations ad infintum were okay, and Gods' power would show up if there was unity, and therefore it's about purpose.
The old medicine men created environments of unity where healing and other magic happened.
The disciples of Christ were in the upper room in one accord when the Holy Spirit fell. The children of Isreal circling Jericho were of one purpose following Gods' instruction. The people who built the tower of Babel were of one mind and God said that if He didn't do something there would be nothing that they couldn't set their mind to and accomplish.
I have become suddenly aware that differences are okay, but there is a level of unity that, when we accomplish it, wipes away our deficits, as we draw on the grace of the Christ.

The following was a posted response in a discussion spoken of on "theooze" ~ a website that I spend a lot of time on discussing the stuff of life.
This was posted in the named thread and in response to some things that I posted. Some of my thoughts on the subject of discipleship, mentoring, anamcara, call it what you will- it seems to be a lost art- and I'm not sure that I wrote what is quoted, but it is what was written.

Windblown
Asshat
Total Posts: 1447
RE: What happened to the fathers?
Monday August 30, 2004 12:48 PM

"I believe that the fathers heart is coming back into the church. If not, I'm in trouble, aqll dressed up and no place to go, so to speak.I have desired a mentor for years, or at least thought I did. My true desiore is a commited relationship I think."

"BD, God is already using you as father and big brother here on the Ooze, but I believe that he has much more for you, many spiritual children.Bless you in this."

"We have discussed this type of relationship before, and in a discipling relationship, I believe that it must have a peer element? in it... or a mutual respect may be the better way to put it, that makes both in the relationship feel vital, not one "over" the other. There is little love in that relationship or it is an unequal yoking type of thing."

"awesome point"

Message #130409 - This was a reply to message #129288

This very much brings to mind two words that I have received through the years- One is that God would bless me with a large family, and one that I would touch many for the kingdom. I don't believe that I'm ready, but are we ever? Am I beginning to see the dawning of my dreams? Perhaps.

This weekend was pretty cool. I got up late Saturday, as is my custom, and stayed up late Saturday nite, again my custom, but camping... I typically don't sleep so well. I woke up about 0600 Sunday morning. Well, I actually woke up a while before that, but the cold- I just couldn't sleep.
I got up and rekindled the fire, b-be-qed a couple of hotdogs and played my flute for a bit. I was just thinking that it was so very quiet, hard to play without that control. Made to be played at low volume... and then my brother stuck his head out of his camper and said that it was a lovely alarm clock, but he wasn't interested in an alarm clock. And so I may not have been as attentive to the sermon as I may have meant to be.
Later that day we had a baptismal service that was 6 baptisms in two hours. We spoke into the lives of those being symbolically reborn. Prophesied over each of them. I didn't prophesy over them all, but I tried to. I did leave one go by the way, but she had a pretty good lot of prophesy without me.
And now I am serving my 5 days suspension from work for the thing that I have been most scared of doing all this time. And now it's not so important, on one level, but it's still very important to me.
The pic I was trying to add to my profile, but here it is, and I can't edit worth crap, so... hello!

That was a helluva sermon

It's crazy. How do people look at me and even think that I am a Christian? I am just like anyone else from where I look at myself. No difference- except that I love Jesus, and it seems to make the difference.
When I was a young man, I heard from the pulpit, "Do people look at you and your life and want to know Jesus?" What a load of... well, let's just say that it's a responsibility that I don't believe that God wants us to bear.
Anyway, I have shared some "real" music that is just straight forward lyric in the modern language of the writer who happens to be about a 25 year old young man (I think) and I shared it with some friends. One of those friends has since shared with me some Keith Green music that I haven't heard in quite some time.
Amazing. And my little being there, whinny and bitchy but caring and open... God is the one that does it all. Nothing comes from me- less of me and more of Him. That's the key. That's the point.

I've been challenged a little in my belief about the existence of modern day prophets and what should the factors be in their existence.  Some say that the old testament standards should apply.  That there are no standards mentioned in the NT and so the OT standards must yet apply.
They are wrong.  Corinthians says that there should be a company of prophets to judge a given word. 
As well, the gift of prophecy, which they leave no room for, is a result of redemption.  It is a proof that the veil between man and God is torn.  Wouldn't their existence be a proof that God has become more personal?  That prophesy being a gift, as opposed to an office, available to all who would take it up.  Things will happen, people will abuse, but that's part of growing in the gift.  If you get it right from the get go, perhaps you might consider it as n office, but typically, it takes a bit of time to grow in it.
My experience is that God's grace is huge.  When I was early in learning about this, I was allowed to prophesy from my knowledge of plants- flowers.  Characteristics of plants that I knew would be substance of the words of encouragement that I had for people...  but then again, there are those who don't believe that qualifies as the prophetic.   That encouragement isn't part of the heart of God?

I just spent a lot of time on arguing with some good christian men about reconciliation.
The conflict is over the validity of culture in christianity... one side sees it as the great divider, which I can see.
But there are also a lot of enhancements that could make our lives as christians more effective.
Why are we so threatened by differences?
Why can't we shop and find what works for us and find our lives more effective in evangelism, and worship and liturgy.
As a white guy, indian music is easier to dance to. Its' simpler rhythms are easier to play. The instruments are very quiet, and haunting.much to say, but all said quietly, passionately.
The Orthodox, refer to themsleves as the "The Church" and believe that their liturgy is superior to all others, and each group following- each denomination feel the same way.
I loved that Rick Joyner said that each has a truth that they are keeping, protecting lest we forget. But we still look at our own as superior, and those who pride themselves on being open etc, will go on the offensive if felt threatened. It's just human nature to need to dominate, and this is one more way to do that.

I was just thinking about the idea of the "twinkling of an eye." I have always heard about Jesus coming in the twinkling of an eye and catching up the saints in the air...
I heard it in a very different light this weekend.
The bride groom is waiting for the "bride without spot or wrinkle" and I caught sight of him waiting anxiously and when His eye sparkles it will signal that he can no longer wait, and gets the okay from the Father.
Still getting a handle on that whole Bride of Christ deal.

Last night Bonnie had a word about a red and a silver thread that are attached to me, and have been for a long time, weaving a new medicine bag and soon He'll be putting new things in it.

Just being confronted with so many things at once... Have you ever carried so much before that hadn't been given to you? Have you ever loved so deeply or so selflessly? Is any of this what you think that it is? Is it enough to have sought the best? To have offered your life? To be willing. How will it end?

Why do we speak as though we are an authority on things that we can really only have opinions about? It seems that there is a possibility that we may preach something other than the gospel and that it will stumble many who are being drawn into the kingdom.
I believe that it was Isaiah who said "How lovely on the mountains are the feet of them that bring good news"
Paul referred to the "good news of the gospel" and admonished us to preach "Christ and Him crucified" (I realize that I'm using a little king james here, but that's how I know these verses off the cuff.)
I believe that Paul taught that it was not up to us to preach the law any longer, but to preach grace, that Jesus wants to know us and that He wants to convict us of sin. He actually went out of His way to tell us to cover the sins of our brothers and sisters, and not seek legal counsel if at all possible, I would say to keep too many from knowing one another's dirty laundry as we tend to disqualify those who we know too much about from ministering to us.
Thus gossip is a heinous sin. It's always on the list when ever He makes one. And the first mention of real gossip was when Ham told his brothers of their fathers drunken nakedness.
I think that the gospel is that Jesus will go to any length to get us to choose Him, and that we being in Him need to work that out in ourselves and be encouraging to others that He has made a way... a narrow way because He is the "door", He is the way, the truth and the light/life. You don't do those things that will stumble someone else in their walk, and the rest is working out your own salvation.

Saturday I invited Mark to go with me to hang out with some of my wilder friends... real warriors in the spirit- He is one, he fit right in.
We went to Hammond to play, pray for a depressed areas intercessors and pastors, and to give some folks an excuse to gather together. I don't really know what happened there, and I think that's probably a good thing. It was covered.

One woman shared the path the God has had her on has been to break her of pride and prepare her to receive new young converts. It has drawn much controversy and judgement upon her, and yet she knows that this is the past that God has lead her down- it was quite interesting, encouraging and challenging.

When we got there I began to feel the oppression of the place only I felt it very personally- low on purpose, lost identity, I felt as though I would be offensive on a number of levels (as I often do anyway) and Mark reminded me that I am called to provoke the church to truly good works. That THAT is a large part of my identity, and one that I don't always embrace. It's hard to find people who can really commit to loving you when you are a provoke... And then it comes across , to some extent, as bitterness from being left alone. I've thought it myself, but I begin to know better.

I recently remembered a a prophetic word that I heard during a practice kind of a time and he began to tell me about my wife. In 1998, after I returned from Ireland, it was at a pseudo school. The man said that she was having financial trouble, a health issue and something that I don't remember about the kids. He asked me to verify what he told me, but I couldn't as I hadn't met her yet... funny how things go sometimes.

Well, I almost broke the most important rule that I laid down for myself regarding this blog. I just went in and changed something that was previously published because I didn't want information to flow quite the way that it might. The most important part of this the honesty_ if it gets written down, it stays on the page, just as though it had been spoken... once it's out there, you can't take it back.
There's always something that you wish that you could take back, but that's part of the game of life- like Bruce Cockburn said, "You pay your money and you take your chance."

I was listening to Graham Cooke and he was saying something to the effect that what you are going through is as much about those around you and how they react and interact with you. The important thing to do is to ask th eFahter what He would have you be in a given situation to those people.
I have known people who have been judged for their short comings (okay, maybe I am one of these people) or lack of health or finance, and people just tell them what to do with their lack and don't help them deal with the actual issues- I think that God is going to call them out for that. It sounds too much like "but didn't I cast out demons in your name?" and I think that God is more worried about the level of glory that you bring to the table than whether your tie is straight.

Today was the consumation of a couple of weeks expectation gone awry. My mother was near by and didn't give a word in my direction. She didn't call, nor did my sister, who apparently took charge of the trip. She called my one of my best friends to say that they'd be around, but never me, and the plans made with my friend were so contorted by the time to perform them, no one knew what was happening.
Anyway, I am praying to God that He will get closer- allow me to really get a dose of His "Papa" side. He's going to have to or these abandonment issues that I can't seem to get past will continue to fester. And it's hard to be a child when it wasn't ever really a big part of your youth... BUT I have a promise that He will activate a fathers heart within me by giving me that confidence and showing me that He will in fact never leave or abandon me. I think that He's even big enough to beat this one- but I guess that I'll have to give it to Him for that to happen... Well... I'm tryin' to.
iyokiphi

I've been thinking about the verse that speaks of the foolish man who looks in the mirror and walks away forgetting what he saw. Contextually speaking, I've always considered this to be about forgetting what slime I am, but that never seems to be much of a problem.
Last saturday night He challenged me that when He shows me who I am in Him, I forget that.
I forget His grace.
I forget His mercy.
I forget that His plans to use me were tailored for me, or I was designed for them.
The thing that I remember best is that is that everthing that I think of myself, is common for a man like me to think of himself. God doesn't really need for me to take on so much responsibilty, that is why He speaks so often of us as
children. I think that He's serious about that whole children thing, and I'm exploring it's virtue.
iyokiphi
(he is pleased)