the toad less travelled

Moses on the banks of the wide red sea

2012-02-05T18:28:00.000-08:00

I've been hearing about Moses and that he did miracles. Some of the understanding is that HE did the miracles. God gave him the power and he did what God said to do and the miracle happened."I haven't got anything to show Pharoah to make him bend to your will God" "Throw down your staff..."Did God infuse the stick with mystical miracle power? I don't think so. He spoke to Moses, Moses followed His direction and Moses did the miracle."Pick it up..."It was a snake until He grabbed it's tail and then it became the staff once again."God, we're trapped""You hold out your staff, Moses, and see what happens" Moses held out his staff and the water parted. It parted. IT PARTED... "Everybody is thirsty and there is no water...""Take your staff and strike the rock"Water comes from the rock."We're losing this battle""Raise your staff""WE'RE WINNING!""But my arms are getting tired"Joshua, "Holding them up Boss"Battle won as long as the staff is up... pretty special staff...You missed it."God, we are out of water!""Tell the stone to give you water""I'll go get my magic staff and-""Speak to the rock""Let me just-""Moses- MO-ses - MOSES!!!""moses, I told you to speak to the stone""But God I lost my-""I told YOU to SPEAK to the stone"Moses was responsible. God told him to do it and he was fine up until God took the crutch and Moses had been using and told him to do it a different way. Speak it, the power is in your words and your intent. The power is in your will. You speak the words that are in your heart and see the miracle happen. You love the people who the miracle is for and the power for the miracle is mined. Moses went back to the formula. He did what he did because it worked before, not because he had faith in what God was doing today.Have faith in what God is doing today. There is life in that. Anything else is vain repetition.

Forerunners

2011-09-12T01:14:00.001-07:00

Forerunners need to remember that they are “out front” and therefore need to keep their expectations of others in that perspective. If they were all out there with you, you would not be a forerunner.

I believe that the purpose of a forerunner must be to find the land of their calling and set up a homestead there until they are met by those who follow, having found the safety of definition and a knowledge base for those coming after.

They know the pitfalls because they have been exploring the land close in to this place that has become home to them and may well be where they hear Him call, “Well done, my good and faithful friend”. They have seen the dangers, dangers that the next generation will have an answer to, while they may not.

Forerunners past have taken shortcuts and banned perceived dangers unable to bare the risk and not yet knowing the full benefit of a God-given design or dream. They are sometimes talked down to and succumb to someone who speaks with authority, someone who finally seems understand the quest that they have been on- but followed the a contented trail where the snow melted around footprints first and looked worn by the time that they got on it, but as the trail becomes less obvious, their walking staff becomes the length of their confidence.

Often these are the trails where generation next jumps from, beginning their adventure in bravado of unknown consequence, reckless in the eye of the forerunner past.

As a forerunner I look at those forerunners behind me and wonder how they could possibly be content with the meager ration that they have foraged of God’s goodness and grace. I can’t settle for that! I MUST have MORE!! There HAS TO BE MORE!!!

But I must to remember that was the cry of every forerunner before me, and if the Lord should tarry, I will be remembered in this very same way. The shadow cast by those whose floor is what was once my ceiling will overwhelm the great pinnacles that I reach, and rightly so, but I pray they will remember me with grace.

Amazing grace will be my rising ceiling
Amazing grace will be my tower floor
Amazing grace will be my bread of life
Amazing grace will be mine forevermore

2010-06-15T21:36:00.000-07:00

Sankofa

To go back and retrieve what was left behind and bring it forward for redemption.
In Gods economy nothing is without purpose. There is nothing that He cannot find value in.
Those things in your past that shames you need to be brought forward and used to fuel the fires of your both your passion and your crucible.
Nothing is wasted.
Nothing is without purpose in your redemption story.
Romans 8:28 says that ALL things are work together for the benefit of those who love God and are called according to His purpose.
Those things of no future benefit are meant to be burned in the crucible and you are then made free of them.
Those things that withstand the heat are meant to be building blocks structuring your prosperity and your testimony.

2009-10-18T21:32:00.000-07:00

Last night I was privileged to go to Silverdale and play with some friends and just reach up into heaven and see if we could reach the throne. Not in a haughty kind of way to see if God was there as some others have done in the natural, but see if we could touch His heart. Of course we are the type to believe that we can and He is a loving God who pays attention to our hearts and hunger for the best in our environment.
So off we go, spiraling ever heavenward and occasionally looking around at the room that we are in to take stock of what's going on with the others on this great adventure.
So we began to recognize the spirit of revelation had come to play with us. A beautiful song came out of it. Beautiful enough that Yvette and I both still remember much of it. Revelation. Of His love for a community that had been listening to their own hearts lying about a God they did not know.
He wanted to tell them that there was no humiliation for them in the cross. That He took all of the humiliation and shame there. ALL of it. There is none to share. He was humiliated once, for all and He is never ashamed of any who come to Him. Never ashamed.
And then the revelation was that shame is the point of entry for fear, and in this current generation, and with their No Fear motto plastered everywhere, it could be achieved when we begin to realize and believe that there is no shame for us. None!
Freedom from shame is the beginning of having no fear.
In the natural I could have some arguments for this, but I'm not supposed to. That's a truth that stands on it's own and there is no valid argument about it. It is shame that separates us from the love of God. Down deep it is shame. There is a wisdom that comes with tempering the fear factor, but that is between you and God.
At this point, the Munchkins made an appearance in my spirit and performed the following- "Come out of the woods- la-da-da-da-dah" and I lost 'em. the following are the words to that song.

Optimistic Voices

You're out of the woods, you're out of the dark, you're out of the night. Step into the sun, step into the light. Keep straight ahead for the most glorious place on the face of the earth or the sky. Hold onto your breath, hold onto your heart, hold onto your hope. March up to the gate and bid it open...

this morning there was a drive in our worship to have the doors open- Dan was singing doors and I was singing gates and we were in harmony. It was a beautiful thing if I say so myself.
So we began to sing to the region around us- come out and be free. Once and for all- humiliation was dealt with- anything else is a lie!
And all the while, a light on the east (I think) wall was strobing like it was trying to impress a disco ball. And when we stopped- it stopped. Amazing.
As I remember more of the revelation I will try to remember to post it here.
Much breakthrough personal, and for the region, as well as the joy that we all experienced being a part of it. It was incredible. God is good.

2009-09-19T16:46:00.000-07:00

Sorry- departure from where we have been- AAAHHHHHHahhhhhhhhhhhh- What can I do to get the music that is in me out of me? there is just too much and I don't have the time or the knowledge to get it out. I can't even find on outlet to get it on line so I can share it. I may explode

2009-09-09T08:12:00.000-07:00

This is Ravi "Jojo" Landge, one of the young international mover and shaker types that came to the Kaleijscope (I never have really looked at the spelling of that, in Polaish or otherwise). He has a band in India called "Wild Fire Tribe'' and they have permission to worship in a chain of coffee shops and find other places to call God's love into the room.

He is one of many young minds that were there to receive a passed baton of creative ministry, passion and to

be recognized as a young lion being turned loose in his region.

He spoke with passion when he had something to say, challenging the older generation to keep their focus and rekindle the boldness of their youth. And he made new friends everywhere his path took him.

Here at lunch we began to play, as we became a band when Annika,here seated next to Jojo, brought instruments enough to share.

Music happened every where. And Nuno, on the other side of Annika played a kazoo in a way that I had never heard before. I had never heard an anointed kazoo, but Nuno played the shofar on his kazoo and it was amazing.

After our bout at the Black Madonna, the weather became volatile. I don't know if it's always like that in Poland in July, but you can

see here how nice it looks (even though Jojo is wearing a

sweatshirt) and the day looked to be beautiful, we began to seek out a venue to play in and found the hallway, entryway, it was the gate by which a horse drawn carriage might enter the courtyard of the site- and we began to play on the steps.

Before long, Jojo was leading all of these people, who came in to join a jam session, in some choruses that they all knew.

Props to you my friend! You know how to fire up your generation! I hope to see you again soon!

2009-09-08T09:59:00.000-07:00

So this is Diniz and Andrea from Brazil, Actually, I think that this picture is in Brazil, but no matter.

I met them my first night in Lubiaz after the whole hanging out and waiting thing- we stayed at the same B&B outside of Luibiaz in some other place that I can't tremember... A "Retreat House" that was difficult to find. The first drive out there, we had two drivers, each with a GPS (and each equally lost) and we went to the wrong house first , but got directions I think... all I heard was in Polish, but I didn't hear them yelling or anything.

Anyway, we get in and Diniz is carrying the bags and he puts them down and grabs his hips and stretches his back- you know, the international symbol for "my back hurts" so I asked if I could pray for his back.

I prayed for a minute and then asked him through his wife who up until then was his interpreter, adn he was healed. I had made a new friend through the miraculous power of Jesus healing power.

Andrea said that Diniz has always wanted to be able to speak english, but couldn't and I thought, "hey, we're on a roll here," so I prayed and asked the Holy SPirit to teach him english through the night...

The next morning- I was his interpreter. He strill didn't speak english, but we had a connection and for e few days after, if Andreas wasn't around and he just wanted to make conversation, he would grab me and say, "You- interpret- me" with a big grin on his face because he thought it was pretty funny too.

Brazil is a definitley in the book for next years choice destination.

2009-08-10T07:53:00.000-07:00

When the plane landed in Poland, the weather was fine- actually perfect, like an early fall day here. The sun was out, I was glad for sun glasses, but not hot, juts nice.
When we left Częstochowa we followed the directions we left somewhere behind and did pretty well... Until we were on the wrong side of the line of semi's and missed the sign for the airport.
We decided to go in search of Lubiaz, where the monastery was hosting the located.
Eventually we came upon this sight and oddly, for the next four days there was at least one downpour accompanied by lightning and thunder per day. Quite a show at the show- I don't know if it was connected with the warfare earlier at Częstochowa, but something definitely shifted.
I ran across Andrew Jones and Wolfgang Fernandez that night while I waited for Trevor to get the rental car back to the airport. I hadn't seen them since Austin in 2001 or so and they nboth remembered me which surprised me because we hadn't had any actual contact since then, and my interaction with Andrew was over an early morning stove making chai.
As the producers of this amazing program were busy making certain that all was as it should be, I was wandering about and trying to stay out of the way.
Unicycles wheeling by, stages being built (main stage to the right here), tents being set up- the place was a bustle and I didn't know what I should be doing, so I wandered around a bit...
Then I thought about the acoustics of an old monastery- how cool would it be to play a flute in a quiet space and record it on the memory card on my phone- after all, it was my camera as well.
It was amazing- beautiful, stupendous, would make you cry to hear it... I think I deleted it at some point thinking it was some kind of chatter that I didn't need. More's the pity. More on that later-
Tomek and Trevor got safely back from the airport in only twice the time estimated. Road construction and unreliable GPS are credited, but that is really Trevors story to tell.
Mine is more about the beauty of the storm that night. I hadn't even expected to need a coat. Only in the downpour did I even think a little bit that I may. Plenty of places to hide out away from the weather.
I may tell more tonight, I don't know, but that is some of my adventure. Work bumped up my start time.

2009-08-09T17:21:00.000-07:00

I know, it's about time I started to say something about where I went and what I did and what did I want to do that for- So here it goes

This is a picture of the lair of the black Madonna, (no disrespect intended, I just don't really know what to call this area)
This is the place where the mass is conducted and when I arrived I remember seeing that same bald head in that same attitude when I was there.
(I didn't take a picture in there because my camera has this auto flash thingy and I don't know how to work it yet)
This joint is an old castle I think, as one of the doors has the inscription "Arsenal" over the door and a cannon and balls in relief over the door as well.
We made our way, I was sent to do a little recon while Trevor waited for instruction from on high. This icon is very loved and we needed to be aware of who and what and all as it was the height of the pilgrim season and this is the number three most loved relic/icon in the Roman Catholic faith and I was getting dirty looks from everywhere apparently for wearing shorts (tho' Trevor didn't and he doesn't wear trousers either.)
So I went in and fund where we needed to be and we shared communion out side of the building and off we went. We went in and did what God asked us to do and He provided things that we hadn't expected, but greatly appreciated, and out we came.
Outside there was a peace that was new. Swallows were flying out in the courtyard that weren't there before and the time was about 1100 as mass was just beginning. The swallows were flying as though there was a fresh hatch of flies. Chirping and flying in a certain ecstacy-
It's nice when a plan comes together. I wish that this post did

2009-07-21T10:00:00.000-07:00

For those of you wondering whether or not that is a polska in my hand it is not- it was a small flute that I always kept with me in case something were to break out that I would regret not being a part of.

This one was about the food. For about $5 you could get chicken and rice or a nice spaghetti or something I couldn't pronounce, but of course, once your mouth is full that's a good thing.

This young lady was playing on a 200 year old violin, and making it sound her own, young and vibrant. She kept up with Jojo and the rest of us with ease. I wish that we had the means to record some of that time. With a dozen drummers it was a little loud, but it was very good.

2009-07-20T10:21:00.000-07:00

From Todd:

"I'm not quite convinced that the best part of going is returning, but I'm trying that part out now"

"Now if I can stay awake today and sleep through the night- no more let lag!!! (I think)"

2009-07-16T08:33:00.000-07:00

Camping Pictures.

2009-07-16T08:31:00.000-07:00

Pictures from the trip.

This was during our time in worship. Joseph (my drum) was taking a little vacation due to the high humidity in Poland- he had no voice, so I had to find other means to worship and minister... This was effective as well.
This is not what it looks like, although it was very warm in that room and I was jet lagging pretty heavily, I was not asleep.

I used the brooms because of the humidity and not wanting to stretch the drum skin by beating it with something heavy and hard.

This is warfare here- The Brazilian Christians sent missionaries to Portugal and the Portuguese thought of them the same way most of the world sees missionaries from the US who are excited by their new revelations.
Denny Hurst on the left, who has recently moved to Lisbon, Portugal and was there to represent Portugal and Olgalvaro Bastos of Brazil in the red shirt doing warfare on the drums

contending for unity between the nations

2009-07-16T08:25:00.000-07:00

Todd Adams I don't know that we'll have internet access in Madrid, but bless you all and thanks for praying. Athens was a success. On to Madrid. This is going to be really fun when these reports are about worship gigs 8^)

2009-07-13T16:33:00.000-07:00

Todd Reports:

In Athens now... Not picking any fights- but seeing some amazing things happen. Chatting with new friends from Kaliedjeskope (how did they spell it and why that way?) {It's Polish for the one that you can't spell in English, either} Poland was hard to get around in because of a different alphabet... Greece isn't any easier... I wonder how Brazil will be next year...

2009-07-11T00:38:00.000-07:00

There is a necessary tension between definitions, language, boxes and freedomto redefine ourselves. If we call ourselves apostle, prophet, evangelist, etc, we give others the right to define us, tell them what to expect from us- and yet their definition or understanding or definition of a word may not line up with how we ourselves would want to be defined with regard to the tasks set before us.

Our discussion leaned more toward definitions in secular terms so that the church wouldn't have the ability to "pigeon hole " us while the world, we in and those of, would have the freedom to express our callings and visions unfettered by tainted and deficient language.

2009-07-10T00:44:00.001-07:00

Hello! the roundtable is going well and growing each day as more delegates from around the globe arrive. Brazil, Germany, Macedonia, Greece, India, Portugal, Venezuela, Czeck-Republic, Hungary, Thailand and even Poland! Many friends being made, many friendships getting deeper and you can see the river of youth that is going to shape the church as it responds to todays cultural necessity.

There is an excitement for nations that is papable in the eyes of these young men and women dedicated to the cause of Christ. They have already been broken before the cross as they witness the church missing people groups and cultures and they are dedicating their lives to pursuing a healthy church body in their home nations as well as those that hear the whispers from the Holy Spirit wooing them to be todays model of Abraham's servant drawing the Bride to the side of the Master.

I am encouraged by there hearts and their longings. Bless the Lord for a hope and a future.

2009-07-09T15:08:00.000-07:00

Last night I heard an incredible band called Masala- I think that they are in the "pre" stage of life, but my gosh they were fun. Eclectic Southeast Asia, Jamaican dub urban hip-hop throat singers. Absolutely WILD!!! And in a short time a band called The Violet Burning, for those of you who have been around for a day or two... and Elisabeth ;^)

2009-07-08T16:57:00.000-07:00

Hello from Poland! weather is nasty, drum has no voice, jet lag is killing me- I'm having a great time!!! Connecting with ministries from Brazil, Greece, Portugal, Beijing, London... The next step.. is Sunday moving on to Greece, and then Spain. Slotfest is an amazing event done every year here in Lubiaz- you should come next year if you get the chance! Next update when I know something new LOL

2009-07-08T07:55:00.000-07:00

Well, that went well. For us. But I couldn't for the life of me figure out why I was getting dirty looks from everybody.

I was trying to figure out whether it was the pious look of a Polish supplicant or if I just incited something deep within people to distrust strangers, or just what it was.

Then I thought that I may have an idea... I'm a skinhead. Well, I'M not a skinhead but I look like a skinhead. To someone who doesn't have eyes to see.

At the end of our assignment we sat in the courtyard and felt the peace roll in.

I watched the clouds roiling, and when I went to take a picture or a video, they would slow.

And then the swallows came in and chirped and flew in circles around the courtyard- they looked full of joy unspeakable. And there were more of them flying about the compound as we walked out.

Anyway, we completed our assignment there and got good and thoroughly lost on our way back. I didn't mind... It was autobahn... How fast is 170 KPH? I'm just wondering. I'm pretty sure that I had never driven that fast before.

We missed the airport exit because the sign was hidden behind a big truck. We looked to find our way to Lubiaz, and couldn't figure out where we were for most of the trip, but we did find our way and then finding our way to the Retreat House where we are staying, well let's just say it's kind of satisfaction you feel when after you have been lost driving around and then locals get lost looking for a place not far away from where you are.

Poland is beautiful, the people are beautiful and I'll be happy to come back someday, but- it's a big world with a lot more to see. Some of it has come here to see me, and more of it is waiting for me to come there.

But today belongs to Poland... WIECEJ RADOSCI!!! MORE JOY!!!

2009-07-06T20:37:00.000-07:00

It's 03:30 a.m. and about 6:30? there. 9 hours difference... and I'm jet lagging, sleep deprived a little and going to attempt to say a little, so...

The adventure so far: a little more detail.

I'm pressed for time so it's still not going to be hugely detailed, but-

AMTRAK wouldn't take my case, or the amount of luggage that I was biging up with me, and so I ended up driving up with Ramona and Andrew. This was Ramona's first act of ministry since her ordination 4 hours before we left.

We met Trevor on the US side and he took me across because of passport insufficiencies.

Then Trevor saw the second incarnation of the box to send Joseph in (very large drum, actually almost the size of the restrictions for air travel) and so we took two rubbermaid boxes and destroyed their usefulness for anything else and successfully covered Joseph and the Lord protected its coming and going and the enemy was foiled in his attempts to stop its travel...

I was up all night building and 11:oo pm to 04:30 am and our ride to the airport arived at 05:00. We got to the airport and went to check in with our electronic boarding passes and there was a problem that they didn't want to explain until we got checked in.

The plane that we were originally booked on was not going to malke the trip and they changed it to a smaller plane which meant someone was going later.

This was not an option for us as we had two other connecting flights and we didn't know that Toronto to Duesseldorf was going to be a forced march for a little over half a click. Crazy. We arrived at the gate in time to hear the final boarding call announcement.

We are now in the city of the black Madonna and have been praying about our part.

We covet your prayer as well. Amen

Posted By Brother Bear to the toad less travelled at 7/06/2009 06:14:00 PM

2009-07-06T08:47:00.000-07:00

We are safely in Wroclas! After leaving Vancouver yesterday at 0800, we are in Poland at 1100. Thanks for praying us through!

2009-07-05T12:19:00.001-07:00

David McLain here. I'll be posting updates on Todd's status from time to time as well.

If things are going according to plan (and I think they are), then Todd & company is on an airplane right now, winging his way over - let's see, I guess he'd be heading over northern Canada - on his way to Poland.

It will be a long ride. Please pray for rest (they were up most of the night re-building a drum case), for strategy, for perspective, and for all the usual "travelling" stuff: health, good connections, great relationships, etc.

2009-07-05T11:55:00.000-07:00

Also, I will be updating my blog via text @ http://ecclecticecclesia.blogspot.com/ It's a blog I've been keeping for a while, so there is some stuff in it from long ago, and some from not so long ago. And THANKS for your prayer- I'll be needing it.

Final Roundtable Update

Finally, the 2nd Global Roundtable begins one week from today, Wed. at 10am and we have a really cool group of leaders coming. We have a number of Festival Directors, Network Leaders, Pastors and Church Planters, Missionaries, Bible Translators, Editors, Musicians and Creative Ministry leaders. I think we will have an amazing time together.

The newly update delegate list is below

Also, we have some great news, Violet Burning will be leading our worship session on Fri. morning and Michael Pritzl will lead the Fri. morning roundtable session.

Festival fee free for all Delegates

Also, the leadership of SLOT told us this week, that they have decided in appreciation for the work we are doing, the distance some of us are traveling and because they really we feel privileged to host Kalejdoskop, that they would like to make the festival free for all delegates, not just those who have scholarships.

Morning Roundtable Sessions

We have a few updates on our Morning Roundtable sessions.

Wed. - Wolfgang Fernandez - "Creative ways of funding your ministry"

Thurs. - Andrew Jones - "Going Apostolic" - Focus on igniting movements to reach your country

Fri. - Michael Pritzl - "Altar Building", making our offering to God, wherever we are on the earth, in our rooms, at church, at colleges, clubs, festivals, wherever we are making music, we are building altars and offering our lives, our hearts, our praise to the Living God.
Sat. - Olgalvaro Bastos Jr “Inspired, not Copied”, discussing about how ministries, nowadays are copping successful weapons, but are not seeking for revelation on how to work on God’s Behalf.

Morning Worship times

Please remember to bring an indigenous instrument from your country, to join in with our drum intercession focusing on different regions and issues.

Newly, update Delegate List

Global Andrew Jones - Boaz Project -

Poland Radek Grygoruk - SLOT Festival Director -

Poland Krzysztof Słaboń - SLOT Program Director

Czech Republic Tomas & Monika Koblasova, Freakfest,

Czech Republic Sasa Flek - TaCesta -

Czech Republic Lukasz (Jumper) Firla - Godarchy ministry

Czech Republic Darek Firla - Tentwork ministry

Ukraine Oksana - UPfest

Ukraine Slavic - UPfest

Romania Olga

Macedonia Scot Brower - 24/7 prayer

Macedonia Alpin Ponikolov - Glasnost Church

Greece Philemon Armenis - Fusion

Spain Carlos Laborada - Coverbacks Motorcycle ministry

Portugal Denny Hurst - Rock on Rock

Portugal Claudecir Júnior Church planter

Portugal Nuno Soars England

France Simon Bourn - Associate Director of OM in France

Netherlands Max Paans - Jesus Freaks International ?

Germany Hajo Muller - Jesus Freaks

Germany/USA Annika Mongan - The Refuge Florida

England Martin Brown - Asylum

England Jonny Baker - CMS, Grace, Alternative Worship

England Ian Nicholson - The Matrix Trust/ 24-7prayer

England Adam Dyer Yeovil Community Church / Urban Warriors

Brazil/England N - Rodrigo Veiga Tribal Generation Missionary

Brazil Olgavaro Bastos Jr. - Tribal generation

Brazil Deniz & Andrea Vargas

Brazil Ronei Jr. - Sao Paulo

India Ravi Joseph Landge - Wildfire Tribe

Thailand Gary and Ineta Lansdowne - YWAM

Far East Wolfgang Fernandez - Next Step now

USA - Becky Garrison, Senior Contributing Editor for Sojourners and The Wittenburg Door

USA - Todd Adams, Olympia WA - Drum Intercessor

Canada Trevor Macpherson - Underground Railroad

--
"Using a gift that God's given you, while in prayer, your connection is broadband now."

TLA

2009-07-05T11:04:00.001-07:00

Up all night building a third case for Joseph. This one is pretty Red Green looking, but I think it will get me through to Poland. Maybe someone will help me build a new one there... Me thinks someone is afraid of the power Joseph packs

2009-07-03T19:54:00.001-07:00

The war is not yet begun but the battle is begun. I can't take the train north so I must drive. Keep praying.

2009-06-25T21:48:00.000-07:00

If I fall to the flesh I am not that momentary man, but still a child of the most high God. I am born of the second Adam who chose, though He had knowledge of good and evil, walked a perfect path without defect or deviation.
It has been said that you could capture a flea and out it in a jar with a lid on it and it will learn not to jump so high as to hit the lid. Then when you remove the lid, it's life is dictated by it's experiential limits.
This is how it is with me. I was born into a jar with a lid on it being taught the constraints and limits caused by sin, the fall, my flesh instead of the knowing the freedom of ownership, stewardship of the earth, the kingdom I was born to rule in.
I learned to walk within the boundaries of the world fallen filled with traps and pitfalls. Born to live by the sweat of my brow, not the authority I was born for. Born to live within the same boundaries that those who taught me are bound to, emulating their interaction, their fear, their bondage imagined.
Now I have been born of the spirit. Born of a second Adam and I, too, am now without defect, though my flesh has memories of it and longs the for the safety and security the bonds.
Now I am free from the natural boundaries and definitions that were sides on the box. I am learning evermore to walk out from beneath the curse that I was born under and into a world of freedom from sin and fleshly hungers. Born again with a natural mind, learning to invoke His harvest and be the lord over it in His name. Learning to rule and reign over every creature as I am given a choice to reign or die the pauper that the despiser hopes with nothing but empty pride, a bell with no clapper

2009-02-16T22:55:00.000-08:00

If you've known me for any length of time, you'll know that I am a passionate guy. I am pretty quick to over-react, but I'm also pretty quick to apologize. I don't believe that I'll need to apologize for what I am about to say.
Raise your vision.
Sounds pretty simple, eh? You'd think so. But in this day and age where all the little churches have we have to raise our vision.
I live in a state capitol where you would imagine that every politician is vying for position. I'm not quite the insider there and so for me to say would be pure conjecture, BUT I am an insider in the church. And I have ears to hear.
We have at least two pastors claiming to be the apostle over the city. One went so far as to invite people around town to kiss his as- er- rin-uhhh-apologize for doing things without his approval.
People who have lived here for a long time and have the city and it's welfare deep in their heart.
A city where evil runs rampant. There are black houses, owned ostensibly by a satanist whose strategy to take over the town is to by real estate and have a voice by virtue of literal ownership.
Many of us have been concerned because the man using the strategy has purchased two houses and painted them black across the street from one of the churches.
This church is now for sale.
Some friends of mine stopped in to see what the scoop was and while I was very happy that they hadn't been run out, but they weren't interested in the least about holding the ground, either. That joint is for sale and if the dentist wanted to buy it they might be willing to sell it to him to extend the vision of the that church.
Now we went in to pray a blessing on the church and after moments I knew that I should get out before they ask me to agree with them in prayer because my integrity took a hit. I couldn't think of anything other than how their vision was about their own church. There was nothing about how it would seriously affect the city.
They referred to the pastor as the CEO and it was all about his vision, but it wasn't about any future but there own.
There are a large number of people who don't know why they moved to Olympia other than they were lead here. I'm one. I came to Oly for Oly.
I can see, I believe that God would make our fair little burg a place where people could come to hear Gods voice clearly. Answer questions about what is the best way to touch the throne and hear destiny. People enabled by the Spirit of the Most High to hear about their value and get clues to success.
And we have men claiming to be the watchers on the wall who are sitting like Humpty Dumpty looking over their own backyards as tho' it's the apple of God's eye.
Who am I to say so, but I think that there are many on the wall whose eyes face outward, watching for the work of the enemy and anxiously awaiting destiny.
Lord, We're here! Look here! What would you have us do? Raise our eyes to destiny greater than we can conceive!

2009-01-22T22:52:00.000-08:00

So, Obama's in office, Jon Stewart masterfully pointed out that the content of his speech was remarkably familiar to his predecessors, I have both found and lost the first girl my age that showed a little interest in me (- and broke my heart)and I am trying, no- realistically, it's more like hoping, to learn everything I can in the midst of the storm.
Yesterday when my heart had swelled and and the scabby part broke open again and the longing within came spilling out, the oddest thought came to me.
I shared it with my good friend Dave and he immediately became concerned for (and I appreciate him for it) my life.
I called him on the phone and it went something like this...

Dave: "Hello, Tumwater City Zoo"

Me: "I don't think dying as a consequence even enters someones mind when they contemplate suicide"

Dave: " "

Me: "I think that their only consideration is to stop hurting because it has become unbearable"

Dave: "Uhm... "

Me: "Just thinking about a disturbing thought I had yesterday"

Dave: "What kind of thought would that have been?"

Me: "The thought came to me that carbon monoxide would be a pretty painless way to go"

Now, my friend needed some assurance that I wasn't looking to do anything drastic and I was happy to provide that, but the realization is that people who take that road aren't really thinking of its permanence. It's about making whatever they are reacting to stop.
I don't know quite why I got this revelation, but there it is.
There is more to this, but I haven't gotten it yet. Probably like most times I'll be driving and won't be able to go anywhere with it, but then again, it will come up when it should.
Don't solve a temporary problem with a permanent solution. Jesus is there and has made the way for you to talk with His Daddy- try that first. It's a little more flexible application.

2008-11-05T15:17:00.000-08:00

Scared yet? I have hit the wall on being afraid of the most powerful man in america. I was so very worried when the clintons toook office- I was sure that the end of days was just around the corner.
Since then I have watched as some pretty amazing prophecy has been fulfilled, and saw it done in ways that are counter to what I would call correct... but I can see part of what God was doing in the midst of working it all out. Not the perfect thing that I had in mind, but where do I get off having thoughts about perfection. I'm as small minded as the people that I have so readily labled scarey.
I am being challenged to see Gods' hand moving (because I know that it is) and to suss out what His hand is on.
There was a prophetic word that was interpreted to be about Huckabee (my candidate of choice) that I could easily interpret as Obama-
Wanna know which one?
"The next president will come in a plain brown bag"
The interpretation was that he would be a plain sort of a guy, and not particularly special, when in fact it could easily have meant that he would be a brown man. I am convinced that the heart of the ruler will be lead by our God like the course of a river by the hand of God.
I'll have more to say about this, but it's something to think abput.

2008-03-16T20:15:00.000-07:00

I saw Horton Hears A Who today. It Was a great movie! I really enjoyed it. And I have a little different take on it in the prophetic sense than most folks I have talked to. I see it as a picture of the church and its need for reformation... Of course that's where I see most everything.
Horton is the church that has a heart for the youth of today that doesn't judge. Doesn't need to mold the coming generation into a static form that has no life or ability to change.
The next generation has already rejected that scenario, and I am with them.
A rainbow mohawk to say, "We are here!"
Black fingernails to say, "We are here!!"
Piercings and tattoos to say, "We are here!!!"
Meanwhile, there is a kangaroo court set up on any given sunday that is judging prospective members according to standards that these upright citizens who follow the letter of the law as it pertains to the culture of the church dictated by the western mindset.
Are we okay so far?
There are a lot of people out there that are happy to say that, "I had to do it it's only fair!" and so are happy with maintaining a status quo that attracts no one who didn't already say that they would come to the church when they got old but wanted to live first.
Nothing fun in the church. Everything is what it was. No changes, no growth, always looking for a new way to make what we do, how we serve the church, what we give our identity instead of who we have become through submitting to the blood of Christ and learning that He has honored us for receiving Him.
Not how we have accounted for our money, nor how much we give to the "body" that we belong to. Not how we have mowed the lawn at the church or filled a sunday school teachers void, but how we trust that His sacrifice paid our and got us in right standing before the Father. A God who is set apart from all that is imperfect, shattered, bent- has gathered all those who will acknowledge His great love for them seeing the price He paid in pain and suffering, in a world that He created, So that we could be friends.
So believe me when I say that I can hear a Who and I long to give them a safe platform to go about their daily lives on in safety.
I hope that works for you.

2007-12-20T22:23:00.000-08:00

I spent a a few minutes the other day talking with someone about a decision that they have made and they kept their own counsel making it. Amidst this discussion they shared that a friend recently did the same thing. They went underground (sort of)to make a life altering decision and they left the church body to make their decision.
Now there are two things that I have to say here.
First is that I heard a prophetic word in the last few years saying that there were going to be weddings that would occur suddenly, and there have been a few so far that have fit the bill. They have been surrounded by interesting circumstance and I cannot say whether right or wrong, but God will bless them if they that have committed will remain committed. They will have a marriage of testimony if they keep their eyes on the One that blesses and follow His lead of dying daily.
Now number two. These young folk didn't trust the church body that they were apart of to bless them in their motion, nor in fact, to even give it a chance. They felt that the body would or did judge them in their quest for happiness.
The failure that I see in this, and I'm not through meditating on it, is that the church body does in fact judge. We look at a situation or an appearance and call it what it would be if it were in our experience.
Neither party in this is free from guilt and both party's need to repent and get into right relationship with each other.
How can the older teach the younger if all that the younger expect to hear is that what they are doing is dangerous?
And why should they listen when all the elder do is meet their expectations?
We pray for the prodigals to come in and and it is immediately incumbent on us to start acting like dogs and smelling their butts to recognize them- who they are, where they've been, what it is that they have consumed, both intellectually and physically.
I preach Jesus the Christ. Him crucified and me grafted into His resurrected body that is not slave to sin and stands for nothing to stand between Him and fellowship with His Father.
I am no slave to sin. Neither I, nor anyone else who has turned to Jesus for completion, have any fellowship with sin. Nothing is sin except that which separates us from the Father and we are the ones who define that by allowing it to be used to shame us.
Children know no sin, and we are to come to Him as children- I suspect that this means we come in innocence. Clean and pure because we think on the things that He instructed us to... Whatever is clean whatever is pure-
This is hard, a hard word, but more because it irritates us like sand in our pearl making bits.
I don't have this yet, but I submit it here for a comment or two.

add: Part of the thing in the church is not to stumble others with our nonsense and this is why we are to be careful what we do and where. If we stumble someone, if we give someone with a propensity to judge something to judge, perhaps this makes us guiltier than they for we can consider and know better.

2007-12-09T20:13:00.000-08:00

This is certainly the best time ever to live in. There is a movie out now based on a book whose author has been quoted numerous times as designed to plant doubt in the minds of young people. Now as much noise as I heard from people over Harry Potter, some of those same people have looked into it prior to the hub-bub and have poo-pooed the concerns.
I'm not really one to go off half cocked about those sort of things now- (I was in the past- demon in every door knob so to speak)and with Harry it looked more to me like it was about friends and camaraderie and good against evil. I just can't think of anyone having this kind of a purpose and pitting good against evil with the idea of harming the basis of our moral values.
What is it that gets into a man to cause him to hate the supreme being to such a degree that he can't stand anyone else having any respect or love for it either.
That, however, is not why we live in the best time ever.
I live in a democratic republic filled with people who think we live in a democracy, an unmanageable task to run our country by the whims of the masses whose sight doesn't typically go beyond the moment that they are living in. (Native americans made decisions based on five generations out, so they contemplated the results of their actions pretty thoroughly before making any decisions.)
This is one reason that there is too much information out there for the getting. you can learn nearly everything within moments of it occurring these days, and yet we live thinking that everyone would of course think the way that we think and appreciate all of the things that we believe are rights- (Boy are we spoiled)
Yet this is not what makes this the greatest age.
What makes this the greatest age is that God is about restoring all that we had in Eden, if we can see it. If we can let go and understand that it doesn't look like what we want it to, but we can imagine it as we go along and see it come to pass in our lives day by day if we allow our expectations to be tempered in our time with our Father who wants to give us every good gift, and we don't really have a clue about being gracious.
We want what we want, they way that we want it, in our timing, to be used as we see fit.
What is the answer? To learn tolerance of the message, know the Word that is God (Jesus), know the Father based on the history that He has left for us, the cannon. And hold on to Him, knowing that He is the Lover of your soul having paid a great price for your admittance to the presence of the Father.
Too much for one blog? Probably, but I had to get it out. I'll think on it with a more clear purpose, but not tonite.
I love you.
(sometimes I just really want to say that)

2007-10-29T20:51:00.000-07:00

I believe that a little known fact is that the Bride Of Christ is part of the Body of Christ, but being part of the Body of Christ doesn't necessarily qualify you as the Bride.
The Body of Christ is not bound by the same parameters, judgment is a thing that we do out of boredom.
Just today on my bus (I drive a special needs bus) I overheard (Started that way and then it became eavesdropping- didn't get the whole, just the gist) two seniors (citizens...) talking about- (senior citizens) talking about getting together for some fellowship.
They went to different churches and were of separate cultures (one of them is old school racial thought processes, but good at heart) and the one gal suggested that they could go to a senior center (_ nah, you prolly got that one) and eat lunch and play bingo.
The okey said that her church didn't allow gambling and they would have to find somewhere else to meet.
I told her that it was hardly gambling as the prizes were useful things that you were going to have to buy anyway, ie- toilet paper, tooth paste, etc...
I am more convinced all the time that the old, established church spent more time telling people what not to do because;

A) They needed to feel the extent of their control and don't are easier to list than do's
B) They had to clean up the mess left behind by someone who had no discernment and they thought that the preemptive NO! would be the most efficient way of dealing with matters that they didn't want to work through with anyone.
C) The easiest way to pressure someone is to tell them that they will be excluded if they don't comply. This is also an effective means of evangelizing. Tell someone that only certain people "get it" -it's not for everyone.

I remember how ridiculous the whole "no dancing" thing was when I was in high school.
(me) "So Mom, what's wrong with dancing anyway?"
(Mom) " I've heard what happens on those dance floors."
(me) "Don't you think that if that was what we had in mind we would tell you we were going to the dance and go do that instead?"

There have been doers and don'ters since Peter came back from Cornelius house. "They don't fit the mold that I'm struggling to fit!"
Either we are free from sin and it has no hold over us or we are in bondage to it like we were before Jesus made the grand gesture to try to convince us that He was serious and we could be in fellowship with His daddy.
If you get it, if you are one of the chosen Welcome Home!!!

2007-10-18T21:01:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about what the Gospel really is. What Jesus meant when He said that the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand. Was He just saying that He paid the price of admission to give us access to an alternative to eternal discomfort? Was it about living a life of rigid adherence to a set of rules that don't come across particularly relevant in our culture? Was His life and death to empower us in that goal? Was it about making up for our short comings?
I talked with a girl one time who didn't wan to see the movie, "The Passion Of The Christ" (Mel Gibson)because in her estimation it was about Jesus coming to rescue a pathetic people. She wanted to make her unsaved mother watch a different version with a "happy Jesus." For her, the story of Jesus as she would present it was that Jesus was happy and he made people happy.
And there are the hard liners that say that He died because God can't look on sin and wants to redeem his creation so that they can hang out for eternity and well, we're never quite sure what's next.
I have come to the conclusion that Jesus meant that our entrance into the Kingdom of Heaven was at hand. Or perhaps that the Kingdom of Heaven was about to be established in the earth.
If the latter is true I would say that we have lost the keys to unlock it and Garmin doesn't have a clue how to find the location. If the former is the truth then we have something to share with others.
I tend to believe that perhaps both of these statements are true.
There is evidence that all of the miracles Jesus did are within our grasp. Even Jesus said that greater miracles than He did would be done at our hand. Walk on water, levitate (the pinnacle, walking on water really), loaves and fishes multiplied.
I will go so far as to submit that the 90% of our brain that we don't use begins to be healed and reawakened, re-tooled, reactivated to do and be what the first Adam was in Eden. And Jesus death was to make room (so to speak) for us to step into authority to wield the power that He made available to us.
I've got to think about this.
I believe that Jesus died to allow us to be able to have fellowship with the Father. And then we were told that since Jesus did this, we are told to pray to the Father in the name of the Son as it was that he acquired this for us, this power and authority.
I just have to meditate. Workin' at it-

2007-08-30T23:15:00.000-07:00

When I was in the navy and we were coming home from the North Atlantic we had just refueled in the Azores, Portugal. The seas looked gentle and rolling about 5 or 6 feet high but spaced kind of irregularly.
We took two swells close enough together that we raised up and raised up and then-
There was nothing under us. We fell, descending, submerging...
The bridge window was marked at 40 feet high so that the math whiz quartermasters could gauge the horizon. We had windows surrounding us on three sides (thank God we had the bridge hatches closed)we were looking at green water.
Not clear water, indicating that we were skimming the surface, green water the color green you see when you go snorkeling.
A trip to San Francisco. A three day excursion in worship, 4 services if you count our regulars. And now nothing.
The locals that have seemed to count on me to watch their backs are ignoring me.
I'm not sure what I'm trying to get at here, but I'm trying to deal with alienation, cynicism and no direction all at once.
I feel a little like Cap'n Jack Sparrow in the third movie when he couldn't make his compass that pointed to the desire of his heart, work.
Better news next time... I suspect... i hope...

2007-08-23T19:32:00.000-07:00

Funny how paying attention makes things appear to relate to one another. And I guess they are when you look at them in reference to me.
My good friend Dave tried to explain to me how San Fran might have been done differently done if it were more about the City than about the Bride of Christ.
There is something about the language of the christian community that is offensive to the world and it doesn't necessarily have a positive effect when you speak it. It feels like a challenge.
Even the title, "The REAL Summer of Love" is confrontive in that it illegitimizes what the city of San Francisco holds to it's bosom as a monumental move ahead. And for them in their understanding, it was gods hand leading them to a higher plain... And they may well be right. They are right, they just don't see it as the path to Jesus and we know that Jesus is the opened who opened the door to a righteousness required to have fellowship with the Father.
Now, the other day the worship band that I am part of went to play for a nearby church who had a guest speaker from their denomination.
We played worship that is our style, very prophetic, very fresh and then this man got up and talked about holiness and what we must do to be liked (my word, not his) by God.
This guy is an evangelist and thinks that the best example of being like Christ is to make people like him. Again, my take on his words, not what he said.
The heart of it is that the church representation currently on display is reminiscent of the church in Jerusalem in Acts where they wanted to require converts to christianity to become jews before they become christians.
The Gospel of Jesus Christ is simple. You don't get to enter the kingdom of God without relying on Jesus. Jesus wants to give you His righteousness to use as currency.
It's not about what you do, it's about who you know.

2007-08-14T01:01:00.000-07:00

Just got back from The Real Summer of Love in San Francisco. What a ride.
Made some plans- really loose plans, and watched them blow up in slow motion, beginning at our departure.
Much if not all of that is well chronicled at www.dmclain.com describing the hospitalization of our friend and cohort Trevor MacPherson, apostle to the alternative lifestyle youngsters of the world. Dave tells it all best, as my gaze was fixed on whatever tasks I could complete.
What I did manage was to catch a couple of the evenings, some "covert ops" with some of my friends, did a couple of evening services (prayed for a couple of people) met some really cool people, did a little warfare on my drum, was thoroughly impressed by a young musician named Stephen Roach (twice carried a dun-dun to his car and asked him to pray impartation of musicianship and he added a bit)and carried Leonard Jones guitar to his car for him and he gave me a ride back to the concert site.
That is a whirlwind, but it's about how it all felt.
So, we stayed in the "Tenderloin" district. Saw hookers nightly outside the international hostel where we stayed, apparently the best facility of it's type in San Francisco. Wi-fi, continental breakfast, ambiance- an amazing place for whatit was. And more importantly 5 blocks from the hospital (again, www.dmclain.com )
That hadn't been a consideration for us before we left.
Trevor was on a panel with Arthur Blessit, Chuck Girard and some others including Sean Bolz and some others.
The next morning he went to the hospital with something that would have killed him had he been a lesser man.
In a drum circle, they had begun and I went and asked if I could join. We went through a couple of guitar players and one broke a string. The guy next to him, who had sung a prophetic type song moments before said that perhaps he had come to San Francisco to get saved. Pretty amazing.
There were some challenges besides Trevors situation, but I'll get to those later, or they aren't important.
Slainte!

2007-08-06T19:07:00.000-07:00

I've been sitting on this for a while. I have watched the church wither and known the disappointment of watching her act with reservation as a spinster instead of anticipation as a bride.
The time has come for Ezekial to arise and prophesy over the valley of dry bones and call the body of Christ up. To prophesy the joining of the bones, the sinew and muscle to make her mobile- even the skin, or flesh must be called on to put a face on Christ that is believable.
The church has curried a reputation of judgment and cultural vandalism, calling on people to make themselves lovable before they can become part. Acts 10, Peter on the roof taking a nap, "Don't call unclean what I call clean", "Where sin abounds, there grace abounds also",
The body of Christ will become the Bride of Christ when they have united to singular purpose- to call the kingdom of heaven to manifest. To see effective healing prayer not by a single person but corporeally by the body, or when no one is consciously praying, but the reality of the kingdom of heaven manifesting on the earth in worship that requires the enemy to stand back and release whatever or be filleted.
But first Ezekial must rise up and prophesy... and it's nearly time.

2007-08-01T00:00:00.000-07:00

Tonight I asked for prayer for the trip to The Gathering. Sandy Coultas asked if I would go as an emissary of this region, to which I responded yes. Then as she was praying I kept my hands open palms up and close to me.
In the midst of the time of prayer I felt a drop of something that felt like anointing oil drop in my right hand. In a matter of moments I felt a drop in my left hand, but there was more- it ran to the side of my hand. I opened my eyes to see if someone had poured oil in my hand and there was no one with a vial nearby. I looked at my hands in a secret fashion, as I didn't want to disturb the flow, to see the shine of oil or anything wet on my palms and there was nothing.
A short moment later someone prayed something about God anointing my hands with oil. Again I looked and saw nothing of what I had felt physically drop into my hands.
I closed my eyes and in a short moment someone abruptly struck the palm of my right hand with what felt like a finger tip. Poked it hard enough to cause my hand to move.
Again I looked and there was no one around giving any indication that they had ministered to me in this fashion. No one leaving the scene, and the only hands nearby had been holding my hands at the time.
Then an offering was taken and my money available for this trip was doubled. I guess that my Father is serious about this trip.
Also, the word to me was that doors were about to open and doors behind me were about to close. Do you suppose I won't have a job when I get back? I just don't know.

2007-07-23T10:27:00.000-07:00

Sunday morning before worship- 5 minutes before worship, I sneaked up to the the upper room where the intercessors band for war.
I stepped in behind a warrior that I have gone and will go into battle with. A brother who honors the call within each of our squad and I trust to cover my back as he can trust me to cover his. The intercessors were banded together about him and I did take his back, steeling him with anything that I had to offer.
The then caught sight of me and began to bless me in ways that I haven't yet caught the whole of. One began to answer a prayer prayed and confessed 8 years ago.
In the Voyage of the Dawntreader by CS Lewis There was a young rascal named Edmond who found himself enchanted and turned into a dragon.
He found his cousins but they didn't recognize him and thought him a threat until they saw a tear fall from his eye. It was not long before Aslan appeared and asked Edmund if he would repent from his contrary ways.
He repented and Aslan attacked him, tearing away the scales and dragon flesh that covered him.
I was without visible scale but they were torn away just the same.
Weapons removed and old wounds healed.
Next hands laid on me were accompanied by words of freedom to roar and to speak what God puts in my mouth. I was likened to a grizzly bear giving the enemy cause for worry and given permission to offend the enemy.
There was more, but my memory fails.
My friend Brian escorted me down the stairs and I joined worship that was in progress at that time.

2007-07-22T19:44:00.001-07:00

I'm looking for a picture that sort of captures who I seem to be currently. This one catches my eye as I know that I am a bear and I do love the river.
For anyone who happens onto this blog, I should explain that the river is kind of a euphemism for the living and active kingdom of heaven.
There is a newness in creation that draws me to want to protect it. Not wildly, like some eco-freak, but because all creation waits for the sons of God to manifest. When this takes place much that has been wrong will be right.

And I am a bear that will protect it. Protect God's creation, His plan, His anointing. It's not that they need my protection, it's in my DNA.
And it's not just about nature. I have friends that I would do everything that I could to keep them safe. I have a friend that I am drawn to serve and it is to meet any needs that I can within the boundaries that the Father restrains me with.
And my own weaknesses.
Last night I experienced a failure in protecting what I love. I didn't recognize the disturbance in the kingdom as it pertains to me and my tribe.
I knew something was up but I thought it was my something and didn't recognize how big it was.
In fact, there was something very big going on and I was distracted by my own flea.
I have got to get a handle on this before I go much farther. There is some dark places for me to go yet and I can't afford to miss anything. It will only lead to the failure of my mission, whatever mission I may be dealing with at the time. On the other hand, there is that side of me that has freedom to do and to fight and to express myself knowing that The Father knows me and has set aside bit of me just for fun. Like the three fat sisters in "The Point" from Harry Nilsson whose point was fun and merriment. That is what I see in the next picture.
Sometimes it's a problem, but mostly not so much. And I leave the photographers credits on the shots. They are very nice shots.

2007-07-11T21:10:00.000-07:00

It started with a trip to Costco on the way home before the last conference. I wandered around and thot, "Ooh, I can eat chili cold, I should grab a case so that I can keep some handy."
At the conference, the guy preaching (Jeremy Nelson) made an off-handed comment about chili being the price of the prophet's reward.
Guess who had chili in the trunk of his car...
And at the end of the service I chased him out the door, chili in hand, and said, "I came for my reward."
He looked at me like I was nuts. He had no context, so I reminded him of what he had said in the sermon and he looked at me, touched my chest and said, "Lord give him financial prosperity," and continued on to the car.
I thought, "I would have liked a little more" thinking about maybe some prophecy, but having been around ministry I have a great respect for protocol and didn't press. I just told the Lord, "It will be good because it's all you anyway."
The next night I played my djembe in worship like a man possessed, which I was. (The Holy Spirit likes my drum.)
After we finished and I left the platform, my friend came and told me that someone had given him an envelope and handed it to me. It felt like some folded bills and so I was curious, but I had no idea.
I went around the corner and tore the corner open and saw a $100 bill. I opened it and fanned ten $100 bills. I was speechless.
And there was no plan, no request, no idea what it was for. Just "here Todd, I love you."
I've made some decisions that may not have been the best, but I'm trying.
AND
a couple of days ago I was thinking about the cars that I have driven in the past few years. Cars that were given to me. I began to think about the names- Trail blazer... Forerunner... And now a Cavalier.

Trailblazer:

1.	a person who blazes a trail for others to follow through unsettled country or wilderness; pathfinder.

2.	a pioneer in any field of endeavor: a trailblazer in science.

Forerunner:

1. One that precedes, as in time; a predecessor.
2. An ancestor; a forebear.
3. One that comes before and indicates the approach of another; a harbinger.
4. A warning sign or symptom.

Cavalier:

5.	haughty, disdainful, or supercilious: an arrogant and cavalier attitude toward others.

6.	offhand or unceremonious: The very dignified officials were confused by his cavalier manner.

Yeah, thats what I feared, but...

1.	a horseman, esp. a mounted soldier; knight.

2.	one having the spirit or bearing of a knight; a courtly gentleman; gallant.

3.	a man escorting a woman or acting as her partner in dancing.

And Dave found something about "standing alone", as I remember. I felt pretty good about that. Ill take it. Jesus loves me. whew!

2007-05-16T21:09:00.000-07:00

Well, I've found the path back. Walked toward the light. Found a couple of old friends.
I was blessed again by another friend last night who tried to loan me a car for a time and it was another blessing rip-off, but I'm trying to partner with God instead of merely being a member of the nag of Christ as I have shown myself ever so capable of being. It is more than having nowhere else to go. Despite this period that I am experiencing, I am convinced that He is still involved and in the midst of some intricate reshaping of who I am. And part of the game seems to be whether or not I can figure out who I am which may be the key to moving on.

2007-05-02T07:12:00.000-07:00

I have heard of the long dark night of the soul. I am now in it, and it feels as if it is a polar night- lasting months instead of of hours.
I can't seem to lay hold of any of the blessings that the Father has offered. He gave me a car... three cars, and none of them run. I can't lay hold of spark in one, I can't lay hold of fuel in one and the third is a purely mechanical failure that is beyond my ability to find help for.
I am home from work today (losing money that I can't afford to lose) because I can't seem to get it.
Someone walked up to me and pressed $100 into my hand and I can't find the check.
Where is my God? Where is the one whose name I have looked to for refuge? Where is the God in whom my salvation rests?
I have been afraid of late that I have been caught up in a performance mindset. I have lived within that all of my life, I can't get passed the thought that my life hangs upon my performance, that blessing comes to those who have the magic formula, do the right thing, say the magic words. And then *POOF* prosperity.
I don't really have faith. I certainly don't trust.
Hope.
Hope is what I have at this point.
Worship is the place where I perform for Him and therefore He can find me and I can allow Him to touch me, but that is about the only place where I slide out a
nerve to feel anything. Everything else is because I have no choice to believe it. Where else can I go. Who else can I cling to. Without Him there is only the unknown. A paradox, because He is the great unknown incapable of limiting Himself to my expectations and unwilling to to satisfy the lowness of them, and I am losing even that at this point.
I have never been so depressed as I am now, and none of my perceptions are valid. It is all perspective, and I've kept myself low and wallowing in the mire of my own corruption, falling back to the things that I can effect to get the security that I long for, and I am wrong for it.
I have had the suggestion that I need to throw money at God like a virgin at a volcano, but I have sunk low enough that I don't have that any longer. I could give God the $100 that I can't find, but that would be a mere gesture. But on the other hand, isn't that what all of that is any since I don't have it unless He gives it to me anyway? And like a two year old child it clutch it to my breast and yell "mine!"
And now I feel as though I am careening down a hill and I can't keep even one foot on a pedal to slow my descent. I'm sorry. It's not up to me. I can't reason it out alone and their is an air raid siren in my head that stops me from hearing anything helpful.

2007-03-19T14:03:00.000-07:00

I wrote a song today. It was a great experience. I love it when God does things through us and we just catch them in the process. It's exciting to have written something that doesn't seem contrived. It just felt good.
Wanna hear, it here it goes...

She walks home from school In a small little town Not part of the others She refuses to frown

Closes her door Holds tight her guitar This gift from the king Makes a glorious sound

She whispers a lyric It’s carried away To the court of the king As He forges her crown

She knows the King In ways that I long to

It seems like a dream A well that I’m drawn to

When she plays guitar Or begins to sing

I have a new mandate Engaging the King

Piercing eyes I’m drawn to engage The knowing look Of a secreted sage

The lilting laughter Of an Irish maid The heart of a lion When she’s up on the stage

And she is my friend Over coffee and more Hearing her sing My heart seems to roar

She knows the King In ways that I long to

She’s got a dream A well that I’m drawn to

When she plays guitar And begins to sing

I have a new mandate Engaging the King

She’s living evidence The King pays attention When she plays her guitar He stands to His feet

She sets a precedence Of awe and adoration When she calls his name His heart skips a beat

And she’s living evidence He gives beauty for ashes When He calls her name She dances around

She sets a precedence Of praise in the madness She sings out His name And we’re all glory bound

I don't have a lot to say about it, it is what it is, but I love the Master for giving it to me.

2007-03-13T01:10:00.000-07:00

Can you imagine this? We have been hearing about this tidal wave that is on it's way and there are a lot of people who are looking for it in the natural and there are a number of us that are expecting it to fall in a spiritual sense.
I expect it to fall like the waters did when they destroyed the army of pharaoh in Moses time. I can think of some things that I would like to see wrecked beyond repair, but then again, I look around my town and see the destruction wrought by the people who think that they have something to gain by allying themselves with someone who can't tell the truth against someone who will not lie.
But I believe that the manifestation of this wave has more to do with wrecking the church- "people of faith" Those who don't know will be subject to a choice while those who know will be subject to a whole other kind of judgement.

2007-03-05T18:23:00.000-08:00

So last night at Tom and Pat's they thought that perhaps since we have Shock and Awe, the sisters from alternate worlds but the same reality, Ben and I should have nicknames.
I made some suggestions, that were panned, and finally Ben, who is known in India as "BENWHITE" turned and said, "okay, I'll be Peace and you be Quiet." It was a roflmao moment... [Don't ask me what that is Pastor Mike, you prolly don't wanna know (I learned it from Elisabeth- shh {LOL})].
So anyway, I am realizing that there is something in me of a ROAR. I had heard something about it earlier, but didn't really get it, now I have been instructed to impart it to some and that presents it's own challenges.
God is pretty funny. He's funnier than we are. I can almost hear the Father and Jesus talking and one of them springing that line on the other. pretty dang funny. Ya' gotta love 'em.

2007-03-03T12:41:00.000-08:00

So, drumming was yesterday. We blessed a church and we blessed our God and we were blessed mightily in the process. I didn't hear anyone say not to call them the next time we do it. Pastors Mike and Lori suggest that it might be a quarterly thing, which I believe is a good idea, although there will certainly be times when we will do the same thing with just people who happen to be around. It was just that good.
Perhaps addictive. Like a good cup of coffee that has just the right mhmhmhmhm in it.
We actually got started at about 1915 because we were figuring out how to record what we were doing. The record is held on three disks, including the long silence at the end. God showed up and silence was the only appropriate response, although my short attention span, SAS for short, kicked in and I didn't quite know what to do. I am glad that Elisabeth and Jim were cohorts in this endeavor as I would have missed the quiet parts.
There is power in the silence that I don't quite relate to yet, but God is good and has made a promise to bring me to the place where I can get it. I'm gonna get it. It's decided, and He promised that He would be faithful to complete it. Odd though, that the drums would be part of that process. God has an amazing economy.
(BTW, lest anyone make the error that Dave pointed out to me, in the picture below- that's Dave's wife Sue. The description I suggest in the post could be used to describe her. That's not it's purpose... and that's all I've got to say about that.)

2007-02-27T11:25:00.000-08:00

Sorry once again for being gone so long. I'm not on line where it's convenient and though I've started a number of times, the finish, well, that's a whole other issue for me... But I'll put that topic off until later.
This is about DRUMS!!!
Drums thundering, drums beating quielty like the heartbeat of a content mother, drums that sing the cadence of life.
Drums have an ability that is unknown, and the experiment will be to try it out. I believe that they can fashion a structure over our city to hang unity over.
I know, that doesn't make much sense, and I don't know can only imagine what is going to happen, but the goal is to change the heavens so that God's heartbeat is heard and a city comes into alignment in a way that we can work as a christian body.
I figure that it will take a few minutes to get to that place where unity abounds, and I think that on the way there there will be people who cannot quite get it until they get it. Like white people not being able to dance, if you don't mind an earthy reference, eventually we will find Mantovani (from "The Jerk") and we will all be in unity heading toward the heavens.
There is more that I hope to get to, but for this minute, I'm through and want to maintain at least some semblance of keeping up here. Meanwhile, keep tapping your foot. You can't know who's tapping with you.

2007-01-15T10:48:00.000-08:00

Bless me readers for I have sinned, it has been nearly a year since my last confession.
I have been better and worse than ever before.
My mom nearly died as a result of a virile infection complicated by doctors who... well, two of the three monkeys were present... No, See no evil was part of the equation as well. They gave her a pain killer, she is deathly alergic to them, in a patch form and couldn't figure out why she was deteriorating. She's much better now, but showing a little wear.
I have still not found the woman of wonder who will beocme my helpmate. I have, on the other hand, met some fine women who I would be more than willing to allow to be. Just something about how much life they have lived- it's awful how much of a difference than can make. Well, that and time isn't exactly bending over backwards to do me any favors.
I have met a brilliant young woman who challenges me on so many levels. Intimidates might be a better description, but she is gentle and has such faith in God and how He is working things out in me- she makes room for me to work out my stuff musically. And we wrote a song together. I put some words down and she put them with a very nice melody and sang it with passion when she let me know what she wrote. I was ecstatic that I had written something that said what I wanted it to say.
Quite nice.

2006-02-23T06:25:00.000-08:00

Sorry I've been gone for so long. Work is long and I don't have internet access where I usually think about things to put here... Nor do I have access to my pictures without my own PC. I'm not much good with HTML or downloading from one site to another. But just the same, I was thinking the other day.
Do you suppose that the feast of the Bride will be catered with the fruits of the spirit? That it's going to be a sort of pot-luck and the fruits of the spirit will be most likely one course in the meal. Some time I'll be able to flesh this out, but apparently not now.
cheers

2005-12-07T23:12:00.000-08:00

This is the joyous occasion of a boy's Bar Mitvah, as the Russion Orthodox Jews do it. This is outside of the secure area on the way into the Western Wall, where we had just seen Hillary Clinton in for some photo-ops.
The boy on the shoulders is celebrating his entry to man-hood, and the crowd included parents and sisters, it was difficult to figure out who was family who was guest and who was incidental.
The two guys with the horns were blowing them after the fashion of someone trying to create a spectacle... little did they know the spectacle that they were about to meet in the "clintonian" entourage.
I am left with an inherited spectacle currently. A co-worker took
her own life and was found by a couple of my friends. They are my friends and so I will make sure that they are going through the process of mourning and grief that they must, having been the ones closest to her. Reactions have been interesting from others. Disbelief, shock, the intelect kicks in and you want to know how or why. And the other common element to peoples response is about her dog.
Why do I juxtapose this with a young man's Bar Mitzvah- I would like to say that I don't know, but I suppose it's because we go through stages in life, some with fanfare and some without. A boy is celebrated into manhood, a woman has lost all hope. Ecclesiastes says that there is a season for everything, and I see that there are some who just can't wait for the final fruit to ripen, but I can't help but think that even in those moments there is the Brother who was the agent in our adoption who watches and waits with an attentinve ear, waiting to hear us say His name in order to get our attention so He can hold us, even in our last moments of anguish.
I can't help but feel somehow that Jesus was there watching and when she was free of her earthly body, Jesus took her by the chin, wiped her tears away and smiled at her with a smile that spoke of the love that she was longing for. I don't know the outcome of it all, but I know that life is a gift and we all do with it what we can.
Karen you have strengthened my theory that fair is a myth. We will miss you for time, but you will never be on your own again.

2005-11-30T22:48:00.000-08:00

Well, this is not in line with where I've been going lately in this blog, but it does speak my heart on a matter.
My Mom and I have agreed to disagree about worship. She is fine with what I grew up with- in fact, needs it to enter true worship, doesn't believe that the Holy Spirit can move unless it's that kind of worship.
I can worship in just about anything, I think that if I have the will to worship He has the will to be worshipped. I don't believe that we can worship in spirit and in truth unless He is enabling us to do so, therefore I wrote this one saturday before thanksgiving after hearing that the renewal pharisees were comparing one worship ministry to another. I admit it is a reaction, but I do believe that it is truth.
The worship Leader is the one who sets the target. They should not necessarily be in the midst of the journey at the time of corporate worship, but rather provide the means for the congregation to get there.
There must also be a time and a place to raise up and challenge worship leaders to go higher. A new venue, a new congregation, a new songlist- but all of these things require an element of risk and most worship leaders don't like to because they are easily cajoled or easily beaten to submission.
God said "touch not my anointed and do my prophets no harm." Worshippers fall into the category of "my anointed."
I have heard (and likely made) many critical statements about worshippers, but I didn't really understand that the role of a worship leader is to give the congregation tools, and then it is encumbent on the conngregation to figure out how to use them, not judge them as better or worse, more or less, than someone elses (gifting).
When Jericho fell (I don't have any pictures from Jericho) the Lord required them to march in silence six days around the wall. Six days without carping.
Carping is an axe laid to the root worship with abandon, and if a worshipper, who is ultra-sensitive by Gods design hears critique without love their ability dwindles. Their freedom is stunted and the target is lowered from high praisse to low, from the tabernacle to the temple, from what is acceptable to God to what is acceptable to man.

The picture above is from Mayan Herod, also called Gideons Spring where he chose 300 men to fight against an army without number. This was an act of worship with abandon, to whittle your army down to 300 men against the nations of the east.
Let us ponder abandon for a bit.

2005-11-29T00:20:00.000-08:00

The Family Plot

I think that we just happened along past this in the hillside. This is what the tomb that Jesus was buried in would have looked like from the outside with the stone and all. We stopped, but didn't get out which was fine, as I am still not sure of this tombs status, but what a way to be disposed of, eh? covered with things that you hope will smell better than you can ever smell bad and shut up in something like this to keep animals out. I'm not sure that I'd be willing to go.

2005-11-27T23:31:00.000-08:00

Cesarea
Just to the left there was where we ended up sitting and learing about Herod and what he built, what was common for any roman city built outside of Rome. An amphitheater, a race track for horses and chariots, an arena.
Here was the amphitheater. They claim that the accoustics are so good that you can get a way with a whisper and here it in the top row. I was called upon to stand and sing and so I sang Amazing Grace and the group sang along.
My group was sitting on the left there just in front of the aisle where the tunnels came out and I stood at ground level- someone told me that was where I should stand. Perhaps the stage would have been better- and it was pretty amazing to get to sing in a place like that.

Cesarea is an on going archeological dig as is shown here and a port city on the mediteranean sea. I'm sure that it was grand when it was newly built, and even now the beauty of the sea is phenomenal.
In the middle of this picture are some columns that had been recovered and in the forground is the stage from the far left side of the stage in the topmost row of seating. Despite that it was built by Herod who murdered every male child under two, it was a marvel.

2005-11-24T11:54:00.000-08:00

I asked my friend Seraphim to pray and ask God for a word of encouragement and this is what he received and in turn, I received;

Seems to me I'm hearing the Lord say:

"Elijah didn't hear me in the storm, or in the earth shake, but in the still small voice -- but for you, you'll only hear my voice in the storm."

Then,

"life is problems living is solving them. the peace you ask for is not the peace of a quiet sunny meadow, the peace you seek is the peace of the bird dreaming in her nest safe in her home in the tree in the middle of the terrible thunder storm.

you asked that i use you in this war. know that i am beginning to use your intercessory dance and prayer to move back the darkness in the territory i've placed you in. you may never see the results in the physical, but one day, when you are with me in eternity i will show you what you have reaped

i love you and am with you. remember el shaddai is also the God of the Storm."

2005-11-21T22:35:00.000-08:00

An interesting correlation that I had never heard before.
When a close family member in the jewish tradition, a piece of cloth from their clothing is torn as sign of mourningand the clothing that it is cut from is worn for 5 days without respite and then burned. Clothing being something that guards our manifest being from many things and hides our vulnerabilities and nakedness.
Scritpure speaks of the body as a house and as a temple. Jesus said I will destroy this temple and in three days raise it up. He spoke of cleaning house in reference to deliverance.
Now, I wish that I had this revelation on my own, but I really have to be led down the path by the hand.
The tabernacle- outer courts, holy place and holy of holies, a tri-part structure with a veil to hide the heart of God which is the mercy seat and at the moment that Jesus spirit left his body, according to Mark, the veil, the covering over God's heart was torn in two. The Father mourning for His Son, who had just cried out, "Why have you forsaken me!"
He tore the veil, the clothing that covered his manifest presence in an act of grief (not repentance, but grief)
Amazing love, how can it be...

2005-11-18T03:09:00.000-08:00

After Cesarea we went to Megido overlooking the Jezreel valley.

Re 16:16 - Show ContextHe gathered them together into the place which is called in Hebrew, "Har-Megiddo."

Megido is a geological formation called a tel like in Tel Aviv and it means that it is a hill that has been built upon a city in ruins. Megido was conoquered 26 times and some sites were rebuilt each time with the same purpose. They know that one circular platform has always been the site of a temple and referred to in scripture as a high place and the place that they have always thought were stables, though, they have recently concluded may have been for grain storage.
The reason that the site was so desirable was that it overlooked the crossroads of commerce, it was the center of the fertile crescent.I tried to get a panorama shot from the side, but I don't know how that will turn out.

2005-11-17T15:43:00.000-08:00

Well, I was going to try to do this in order, but I am moved to share about my baptism in the Jordan.
One of my travel mates is a knowledgable teacher and shared with me some of his knowledge on baptism. It was part of the rite of initiation into the levitical priesthood and included an anointing with oil, and so understanding that I have a place amongst the levites I bought a ram's horn shofar to fill with oil and and some oil to fill it.
I went to Israel to see the beginning of the time of my destiny, and I was baptised about thirty years from the time I was first baptised in water by the same man, which I was pretty excited about. Gary has always believed in me and a calling on my life, so he was absolutely okay with a change in protocol on my behalf, the only problem was that I didn't look at the hole in the bottle and know how it would fill the horn before I did it and so where I intended to have about 2 ounces dumped on me, about 5 drops came out, so Gary filled the horn with water and proceeded.
I contemplated breaking the bottle and dumping what I could into the horn, but I was standing in the place prepared for baptisms and did not want broken glass in the pool to be any part of my legacy there and so it was left to water to carry the oil out of the horn.
Oddly enough, though I didn't understand God not interfering in my weak planning to encourage me on into the future, I was frustrated by it, as has often been the case in times past.
And I don't yet know what seeds of ministry were planted but they were well watered. Soon it will all be in the open and I won't have big money worries, just worries about making my connections, but that's a whole other story.

2005-11-17T10:20:00.000-08:00

Let's see. We left Seattle sunday and spent a bit of time in London monday. Went to the tube station that lets out across the street from Big Ben, then flew out for Tel Aviv that night to arrive at about 0430. We were all a little ragged at that point.
We got on the bus and met Devorah, without doubt the most insightful and knowledgable guide in the Holy Land and we were off and running. We went to Herod's port city at Cesarea where I was asked to sing from the base of the stage to illustrate the great acoustics in such a place. I also got to climb a little bit on the old viaduct that ran from Carmel to Cesarea.
This is Jacob, Reed and myself where
the viaduct ends in Cesarea.

We drove through and saw the huge banana farms and learned some about the kibutz in the area.
Devorah also talked about how the Rothschilds started a vineyard there for Carmel Wines, but she never mentioned what they do with the prickley pear cactus that were being farmed, and there were some other places as well. Too Tired to catch it then, too tired to remember it now.
Talk about sensory overload.

2005-11-16T13:13:00.000-08:00

I just got in last night after being in Israel for 7 days- two days in Tiberias and 5 days in Jerusalem. Too much to put here in one day but I think that I will try and re-live some of it here over the next little while.
The hardest part of the trip was witnessing how thoughtless people can be, and I was probably the most. I typically come with the attitude that people are christians and will approach things from a conservative standpoint with grace and mercy abounding. Especially when we were in a foreign land.
I have come to the conclusion that the older generation believes that they did everything possible during world war two and the holocaust is just history that the time for reaction is past... That cleanliness really is next to godliness... That you are safe in any country if you are an american and any opinion that wanders into your head has validity no one has the right to stop you from sppeaking it out no matter how inane it is... It is incumbent on your tour host and guide to allow you to wander at will and then to come and find you at the expense of time and the hopes of others that are on the tour.
That off my chest, I had a great time. Baptised in the Jordan by the man who baptised me thirty odd years ago, diving into the Dead Sea (a challenge from somebody at church... it only hurt for a while- the aftermath is like rubbing your eyes with rock salt) and walking barefoot in places where it is certain that Jesus walked.
I'll tell details later on some of these things. Comment if you have questions.
t

2005-10-28T08:46:00.000-07:00

faithful are the wounds of a friend

2005-10-27T00:34:00.000-07:00

Today was a bit rough.
There is a brother that I work with that came up in Shreveport, La. who is a black man. Two cultural differences that I am trying to deal with and I keep coming up on the wrong side of things.
Twice his name has come up in duscussions of sexual harrasment, and yet I really don't believe that he's guilty in either case- One isn't really even worthy of mentioning and we collectively (road supervisor team) made the decision that it was most likely a misunderstanding, and to some degree, a scatter-gun vendetta kind of a deal.
Today he was talking to a white girl that is dating a black man, and makes it no secret. He was chatting with her this morning and some statements were made that could be easily misunderstood if they were taken out of context (that's how I heard them- out of context) and then they were reported by someone that was not involved in the conversation to someone that tends to believe the worst of people. All around it is a somewhat volatile box of tinder.
I spoke to him as much to protect him as to communicate the official word on the subject, but I came away feeling so wrong. I believe in justice and I believe that I am as responsible for it as anyone else, and I'm thinking that a man feels accused of an act that just isn't in him... twice... and I'm not sure that he knows that he's important to me and the company.
I have to study to understand this harrassment business. Particularly since the person who spoke out has made me uncomfortable with things that she has said in the past.
When the "victim" was asked about it, she said that she could handle whatever was happening- isn't this something outside of the definition of harrassment? Isn't harrassment something that is defined on a case by case basis by the "victim" of unwanted attention?
I feel as though I have done a dis-service to my boss as hurting my friend who I believe is without guilt in this instance.
I don't know if I'll come back to this subject or not, but I have purged a minute amount of my angst here so far.
We'll see what tomorrow brings.

2005-10-23T08:20:00.000-07:00

I got into a discussion on theooze last night about grace and how hard it is to receive or understand. I don't know whether I brought them up or Catie did, but the position of the Jews came into it- Ah, it was whether or not the church is getting better with age.
My view is that the church suffers the same kind of effect that the rest of creation seems to- the further from creation, the further the fall.
She brought up the Hebrew being the chosen people, and it seems to me that God said "Hey Abe, I like you and I'm going to do something here for you," but over time He regretted His decision a little and told them that He chose them because they were just enough to identify, but not enough to bew taken seriously and therefore He could show His intentions t'ward man through them.
The Jews are chosen to provide a deliverer, a saviour, the Christ, but they have chosen to be really quite passive about it, other than when they adamantly deny that it is Jesus.
And the church today shudders at change. God doesn't change, but our angle of observation does and we need to realize that it is happening, rather than denying that we can see Him from another side.
Which leads us to the question of the engagement of the flesh these kinds of matters. We have to stop being afraid of it. The flesh will not just lay quietly down to die, and so we must expect it to roll about, and make a ruckus- it's dying, after all. Or at the very least swelling up so that you can see the need to treat the infection.
These are certainly interesting times we live in. And I hope that I'm at least 65% right about my stuff, here. The other 35%... I can't identify it or it would change.Let me know if you have a thought.

2005-10-18T22:43:00.000-07:00

I can feel this welling up slowly. It's suddenly like I was born for this.
Thinking last night about this upcoming engagement I remembered laying on the floor at the Fireland Belfast meetings in 1998, godsmacked over something Greg Austin prophesied over me about a knight or being knighted (I don't remember much, but that comes back to me so far) and as I lay there I remember acting out opening my heart and exposing it to the warfare in the room and praying that it would get inside of me. The cadence, the structure, the unforced unity.

It was that night that this seed was planted in me.

I had never been a drummer, never really had a desire beyond the bored drumming of my fingers on occasion. Now I can't believe the standards I have for how it's supposed to work. (God deliver me from that please) but I am getting jazzed.

2005-10-17T22:37:00.000-07:00

The following is a work in progress. Not all of it is represented here but I am open to constructive suggestions made by anyone who should happen to find and read this post.

It begins with the principles sitting around an abba drum... Or the leader sitting and beating it and as the principles are ready to join they come in and begin to play in unison. This will continue through an invitation to the Holy Spirit to lead, to invoke a spirit of unity and to free those in attendance to pray and dance.
The abba is continuing throughout this period.
Then the principles, again at the leading of the spirit, will move to there own kits or hand-drums and begin to play in submission to the abba for a time and then all will fall silent for a moment.
The silence will be broken by a principle hearing a spirit led beat whether in exultation and hallel or a call to arms. From this point on it's for the people to play what they feel in their heart. Dancers dance, flaggers flag, intercessors crunch...
I must find a signal for when something specific needs to be done in a unison

Cacophony is out, I think. Unity for the city is a major battle in this endeavor- dynamics, tempo, rhythm are going to be the greatest weapons in our hands during this event.

There is much that I have yet to consider, but these bits need, I believe, to be held on to.

2005-10-15T12:47:00.000-07:00

Well, so warfare...
I am of the opinion that there are so many things that we as a body are conflicted about, at what point do we begin to die to ourselves, to those truths that we wrap our minds around to the extent that there is a barrier built that prohibits any new ideas from getting through.
I watched it with the renewal movement. We have a new truth and so you must bow to our new revelation, as though it is a new form of a God that we so all agree never changes.
We relish in our new revelation, rubbing the noses of those who don't, won't or perhaps can't see it our way in the delight of our specialness and abandon any thought of pondering how the truths interact.
This is true with the pomo as well. The new generation is having an awful time of dealing with the previous generations need for definition, and ridicule ensues because it is a hard wired part of human nature. I see them reaching back and reachig forward with goals and hopes, but they are as guilty of abandoning the parts that worked as any other philosophy in the past when it was birthed.
My experiences are mainly in urban America, but the pervasive life seems to be hopelessly entangled in an "after me you come first" mentality.
I am cut off on a near daily basis by vehicles driven by youngsters, and yesterday the glaring example was a car with a "BODY PIERCING SAVED MY LIFE" sticker in the window and a fish on the bumper.
I guess that it's discipleship that is missing. The IRC seems to be preaching a message without a soul. There is flesh and spirit, but I don't see it with any depth.
Perhaps it's our motives that are wrong. It's not supposed to be about going to heaven. It's about knowing God in such a way that He can pick you out in a crowd.
I'm thinking about making a t-shirt that says "JESUS DIED TO GET YOUR ATTENTION"
And why not... I haven't been flogged since the first Harry Potter movie came out.

2005-10-08T22:59:00.000-07:00

I should manage to be a little more cohesive in my thought process this evening, although I didn't get home until about 0330 this morning.
"Why," you ask? Well, that is the topic that I am addressing.
Trevor came down to the greater Seattle area for a conference, and he is the usual catalyst for the action to follow. Spiritual Warfare Dancing at a club in Seattle.
We, in fact, engage in warfare in a fetish club in dark neighborhood in Seattle and last night we tore it up, well, some things, not the club.
It started out with the three of us sitting outside praying about assignments for our time inside. There were three chairs on the sidewalk in front and we were approached twice once by a girl who was laughing about our various hairstyles and once by a guy who thought that we were perhaps the authorities from within (we had already paid the cover, so in some sense we paid for some legal use of the place and therefore carried some authority in that sense)and wanted to know about getting in to see someone, a room mate or something.
Trevor was to do some warfare over the Black Sea and Hungary, Dave was to battle three leviathans and I was to do some recon work for future trips and establish some new levels in my life.
We went in and I was engaged immediately. One of the things that I fight is the fear of man or intimidation. I came in wearing clothing that would be acceptable in the club, black pants and shirt, and as soon as I got under the black light I was covered in lint. It hadn't been there before (I'm sure that it was but I hadn't thought things through yet) and felt like I stuck out like some kind of wack job (which in all fairness I am within the club context) with white strands and etc all over me... But I was out during the first song that we were there for.
Dancing was wild. I'm not as sore this morning as I though I would be, but I haven't dome anything all day and I'm no less sore than I was. And I noticed that I dance in a largely celtic manner with my hands still while my feet move, another thing that has been a source of intimidation. W00T I'm not so weird after all.
During the time I think that I saw a need to get back to Shaftsbury Square in Belfast, and I need the boys that I met when I was over to go with, I think.
I tink d'ere up to it!
Anyhoo, ballywhoo, I'm sittin' on the rest for now. It may come up again later, and it may not, but watch the black sea and keep an eye on hungary. Somehting's gonna happen in those regions. ;^)

2005-10-07T00:09:00.000-07:00

I was talking with Steve tonight about meetings in Hoquiam/Aberdeen. He needs a worship service and would like to have one from the area, or at least as close as Oly. I am kind of at a loss.
He said that there are pastors in teh area that are afraid of renewal, preaching against it in the area, against the Healing Rooms that have been established there.
What is our world about today if it's not about unity. I wonder if "the great deception" may not be to fear the flesh. The flesh is the vehicle that puts you in position to do Gods work, it is ammoral at worst. The flesh is not what will lead you into hell, it's rebellion. It's rejecting God and the road to His doorstep, the cross of The Christ, not whether you hold your mouth right when you open your hymnal.

I recently heard from soneone that their folks don't like a particular ministry because they don't reach them. It's a commercial radio station, they are going to attract the people who are going to spend the money, not the "I must hear a hymn", and "We tip 10% when we go out because it honors God... unless of course we don't like the waiter."

When did americans begin to think that we are so smart that the rest of the world needs to do what we do or we should go and tell them what's right. Those same people that think that a little girl (22 or so) is a hero for standing in front of a bulldozer in a foreign country to protest a war, and it is a war, and gets killed by the armyhas any right to do as she did.
I'm all for passion and feeling as though you are doing something good, but when you begin to believe that you as an individual can stop a war in a land where you have asked permission to visit by standing in front of a weapon- by any means other than pleaing with God, you have gone over the edge of sanity and believe a madness that will surely overtake the world as John prophesied, as Jesus prophesied, where we will be willing to look to a man for the big answers and he will deliver and then we will again see hitlerian dictatorship rise with the same results, only no man will be able to point and say that he had anything to do with the destruction, but all will stand in awe of a God that meant what He said... We cannot save ourselves from the horrors to come. We cannot save ourselves from destruction wrought by our own will and emotions. Only Jesus has eared the right to sit on a throne over the world. Only Jesus can introduce us to the Father that we left in the garden. Only Jesus. We cannot know the Father without knowing the Son. And we choose any another way.
We know that we don't know the right way. We know that man screwed up faith. Created religion out of it and we don't like that. Humanism is as afraid of the spirit as the church is afraid of the flesh. interesting dichotomy, eh?

2005-10-05T10:31:00.000-07:00

I am so looking forward to this movie even if Dissney is doing it. As well, this is a test post trying out the pic thingy.

2005-10-05T10:06:00.000-07:00

Weel, I think that I'm going to try to be better about this. I was at a meeting a couple of weeks ago and I'm going to say two things here one is just for me to remember (you are not selfish, Todd) and the other becomes a reason for becoming more regular about writing here.
The other is that God said that He is going to give me revelation like John Crowder. Deena said tha she asked God why their wasn't a guy like him around here and apparently God told him that I am that guy. Now there's a blow to the low self-esteem ego that I've been currying all these years (which in and of itself is revelation of a sort)

2005-07-23T20:08:00.000-07:00

February, huh? I'm so...
I was reading a friends blog today called "Shoulda Coulda" He was trying to sort out a 30 day blog and managewd to post 8 times. I'm not so bad as I thought ;)

Work is not going so well currently. Opportunity to become a supervisor, already on track to be a trainer and I'm unable to do one because and not allowed to do the other. I did decide that I was going to have to follow the money, but I don't know after last night.
We have one gal working there the actually made the statement when I was talking to her on the phone that she "doesn't care how big I am" as though I was trying to intimidate her in a physical manner.
She also came to the wrong conclusion that I had called and asked for one of her peers earlier in the day because I was working out some kind of a deal to get out of working this weekend.
Sometime in the recent months she asked me about wether or not I had ever pressed charges against anyone for harrassment and when I responded by saying no she informed me that she had. At that time I was outside of the building talking to one of my co-workers while she was inside ostensibly doing her job.
I do my best to ignore her because I can't follow her train of thought on anything so far.
Oh, I almost forgot- she accused me of being an arian once because she heard Bruce tease me about being a skin head.
My workplace is NOT safe for me, and I don't like it one bit. I may have to find another job very soon.

2005-02-11T18:52:00.000-08:00

Listening to NPR tonight I learned that that Arthur Murray passed away. Initially I thought, "Why in the heck all the chatter about the loss of the guy who made dancing readily learned by anyone in America?"
As I listened I learned that, in fact, this guy was a playright. I never read anything he wrote, never saw his plays... And yet, as they told his story, I wondered if he had come to any knowledge of Christ. I wondered if he had ever had any interaction with Jesus that he recognized as such.
Then my mind wandered into that place that wonders if my life has any meaning. What have a done that wiull be lasting. What will be left in the footprint that I leave behind, as so many people have had a cameo appearance in my life. Will Gods' grace fall on me in such a way that others will be blessed? Will I leave a lasting mark on their lives that points them to Christ?

2005-01-22T20:54:00.000-08:00

I just watched The Terminal. I thought that it would be the heartwarming story of a man whose country left him when he needed it most and the land of grace was represented by the anal. AND there was the hope of romance.
INSTEAD I see a man whose pride makes him unbending, an honest man driven to rebellion, aided by the society that the agent represented, and dropped by the woman whom he spoke into the heart of.
He spoke to her the truth. He spoke to her from his heart. Her history had no bearing on his feelings. WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO MAKE THEM SEE! Why are they so blind or bent on destruction or filled with hate for themselves or so sure that they will find the one guy in 82 million that is both desirable and sweet- Why isn't swwet what's desirable, anyway. I'm just frickin' tired.

2005-01-21T21:55:00.000-08:00

This week has been rough- up and down, life and death... makes me tired.
On one hand I got some excellent words of encouragement from friends that fit nicely with things that I have heard before. And I have begun to see favor and respect at work- something that has been there, but I haven't been in a situation to see it.
On the other hand, I had a kid run out in front of my bus and I stopped about 18 inches from hitting him.
I got to see Rich Burroughs on his way home. A remarkable recovery, after being unable to get out of a recliner for four days having had a couple strokes, etc, Laidlaw called the cops when they hadn't been able to get ahold of him. He was looking pretty good for what he'd been through, but dang, the guy was just about my age. It was pretty amazing... and scarey... and Shea had some episode- I don't know what happened, but his eyes went dim-
I am going to have to make that appointment for my own check up- and get back on my BP meds.
Enough for now. I'll catch you maybe when I'm interesting.

2005-01-17T18:58:00.000-08:00

Gosh, better than a month since I had anything to say. I really don't now either.
Hmmmmmm... whelp.... nahp, bubkus.

2004-11-01T19:39:00.000-08:00

Though I confessed before that I whine and moan in these tomes, that is not the only motive. I am about to get a little exultant, though it's about learning, contemplating, understanding- again, I guess that those are already stated motives- but this particular entry is about beginning to understand Gods' mind, heart toward me.
My Lord said that he would give me stewardship of heavenly songs. That people would
be on their faces while this music/worship was being rendered.
Before I remember being told that people would be healed while hearing music that I was involved in producing.
An elder and minister of the Tulalip Tribe prophesied that I would be instrumental in empowering first nation drummers and musicians... maybe it was drummers- anyway, is that targeted for fulfillment in this?
I also, long ago heard about having an anointing that would minister to thousands. This would qualify their as well.
One thing that I left off of the transcript was that the provision that comes from this was to be spent with Gods' input, and that I wasn't to take any credit as the songs had already been written, I'm just given some responsibility for them. As well I was admonished that taking credit or becoming willful or taking ownership for this manifestation would negate my purity in the matter, and purity is a key element.
Will I be found worthy? I apparently have and God gives his gifts without repentance, so we'll see how this goes.
If you have any comments or encouragements feel free to leave them at the comment dealio or e-mail me at todzilah@yahoo.com

2004-10-24T20:49:00.000-07:00

It seems as though I bitch as much as anything else here- perhaps more than anything else, but that season will change soon, I hope... I have faith that it will.
Last week I went hunting with a number of guys from church. Great guys. Good cooks, good servants, good brothers whom I have learned that I can trust.
At one point I came to the realization that the brother that I didn't have had now been replaced by two, both of whom I had already known that about, but the realization hit. I can count on these two brothers to challenge me to grow just through interaction.
Anyway, a week spent hunting deer in the mountains. Sound cool? It was great, but I had my issues.
One of the group began and then left after two days of the week expected. It was kind of hard on the group as he was someone who takes charge when he's around, but then he just winked out- gone.
I can make a number of excuses for him, but I don't need to. He did what he did for the reasons he did it.
My issues were more about how brass the heavens seemed the whole time.
I prayed and asked creator, provider, where is the blessing? And I didn't see one legal animal that hadn't already been taken. I struggled with that all week.
Then one of the group that has been involved for the last three years had a dental disaster. Absessed tooth. I know that pain, and I was pretty hung up over it through dinner and pretty adamant about praying for it.
This was on "Miracle Mountain" where a falling tree righted itself and waited until it was leaning correctly to fall where they wanted it to. Where miracles happened. And I prayed for a dental miracle and... nada.
I guess that I am definitly not an experiential christian. If that were the case, I would be an agnostic, but I'm not... yet. relax, I don't think that I will be any time soon, but you know, I get pretty damn tired of being ignored by the lover of my soul. I can't figure this thing out.
Loads of questions. Pretty close to knowing what the gospel is, though. Jesus plan of salvation and the reason why... not the extraneous stuff that many try to sell as the gospel. Maybe I'll get into that next time. I think that this is enough for now.

2004-09-26T09:35:00.000-07:00

Weird dream last night/this morning. I was in a managerial position and came up to one of my employees (a girl I knew in high school). She was upset and I came to her from behind and gave her a brotherly hug, felt her stomach and felt that she had a particular roundness- she was pregnant.
This explained her emotion, as somehow what I thought meant something to her and she was letting me down. I just told her that it didn't matter and she was about to be blessed.
And then the baby came out, and was very odd looking, and could go back at will. Her stomach was formed from the outside to somehow accomodate the babies return.
I don't know what that means, but I suspect it means something.

2004-09-25T23:58:00.000-07:00

Of the seven people on the worship team tonight, Mark saw a vision of five of us. He described us as looking old, thin, blackened eyes- he described people who needed the church to come along side and pray for as levites of our body.
We talked about it on the way home for a bit and I kept hearing malnourished, famine, haggard.
I then realized and then shared with Mark that it was the ones who lead out on the team. The ones who do solo work or lead out vocally who he saw. And then realized that the congregation needs to somehow nurture the team. We have been giving out for quite some time, and haven't received the prayer lift from the congregation can rejuvenate a war weary troop.
I don't know what's next out of it, but that's what Mark saw and how I interpreted it. and there you have it. Now what are you going to do with it?

2004-09-20T01:57:00.000-07:00

As far as theooze goes, I have been careful of late what I read, whose posts I read. Some feel a little like poison to me, but I am acquainted with their hearts and beleive that the Lord will count much good to them that seems like foolishness to me. I know that He is bigger than me, and I find that fearsome and comforting at the same time. There is much, I have learned in my years, open to interpretation in the word. No one has the market cornered on truth, and there is a cultural bbias in the truth of the north american christian (as well as all of the others). North america is the only country where a pre-trib rapture doctrine is even considered, and here we look at it as though the words came straight out of Jesus mouth. If there was no room for interpretation, we would all believe exactly the same thing.
Two things Paul said that give me comfort when I oppose another's doctrine-
We must work out our own salvation- that means that I can't work out someone elses walk with Jesus, and therefore they won't have the same walk as me...
All things are permissable, not all things are profitable. That's either true or it isn't. I am becoming more convinced that Jesus is about whole heartedness in our beliefs (which you exhibit admirably) and unity of purpose. The word says that when two or more are gathered in unity... That's where His power lies. Theooze is about exploration more than anything else. I find broader definition of who God is as I learn the experience of others. He is like a diamond and we, being small, can only see one facet at a time. I beleive that missionaries with the western mindset have destroyed some things that God will restore to cultures like the native american, aboriginal, hawiian, various and sundry african tribes- they have had much to offer and enhance the worship experience, but the western mindset- church as we know it here, has labeled much evil without understanding.
Some dayI hope to put together a band of lovers who use the indigenous that has been cast out of the church without a second thought (or a first real thought)
to create an authentic worship atmosphere to draw in those that have been ostracized on the mission field. Far too many casualties due to closed minds or an inability to find God off the map, beyond the status quo. Can we go there? Is it possible? I'm in the hunt.

2004-09-15T23:12:00.000-07:00

As I'm getting older, I often wonder (perhaps worry) about the footprint that I will leave behind when I'm gone. If I'll have any progeny to carry on, if I'll make a difference in someones' understanding of the world, or the Saviour of it.
I was contemplating this today. Mortality and legacy- my dad and the things that I have received as part of his legacy. It's all real stuff. Material goods.
Don't misunderstand, I appreciate these things, but there are things that I would love to have that would inspire actual memories. Ideas that he had, beliefs that we held, words of affection. Words left behind for me to read and re-read. Things made for me, or written for me or dedicateed in some way to me.
I don't mean to sound like my dad was an uncaring old codger, nor should I whine about mis-use, abuse or abandonment. This is not the issue.
The issue, the thought is that perhaps there are things that we can leave that are more ethereal, less finite, or ethereal but rather concrete in an ambiguos sort of way.
If it sounds like I don't know what I'm talking about, it's because I don't. I'm trying to work it outso that it might be a concept that I would share with others, but in doing so, it would become the actual working out of the topic, wouldn't that be cool. I don't even know where to go from here, but it's a topic to be re-visited sometime when my brain stops hurting ;)

2004-09-12T10:47:00.000-07:00

Last night Pastor Rick talked about unity in the church. Specifically in our church.
We are a collective that has been compared to Davids men in the Cave of Abdullum, and that fits us pretty well. Mighty people hidden waiting for time and opportunity.
So last night he was talking about the the places where we aren't of the same mind during the service- one soaks while another worships- we have... I have been using the corporate time for personal use.
After the service he asked if anyone had anything to say about it all, if God was telling anyone else anything about it. There were soe who had heard something relevant, some who heard something- I heard that it wasn't so important what a body believed, but that there was unity. The lutherans, baptists, methodists, denominations ad infintum were okay, and Gods' power would show up if there was unity, and therefore it's about purpose.
The old medicine men created environments of unity where healing and other magic happened.
The disciples of Christ were in the upper room in one accord when the Holy Spirit fell. The children of Isreal circling Jericho were of one purpose following Gods' instruction. The people who built the tower of Babel were of one mind and God said that if He didn't do something there would be nothing that they couldn't set their mind to and accomplish.
I have become suddenly aware that differences are okay, but there is a level of unity that, when we accomplish it, wipes away our deficits, as we draw on the grace of the Christ.

2004-08-31T00:48:00.000-07:00

The following was a posted response in a discussion spoken of on "theooze" ~ a website that I spend a lot of time on discussing the stuff of life.
This was posted in the named thread and in response to some things that I posted. Some of my thoughts on the subject of discipleship, mentoring, anamcara, call it what you will- it seems to be a lost art- and I'm not sure that I wrote what is quoted, but it is what was written.

Windblown
Asshat
Total Posts: 1447
RE: What happened to the fathers?
Monday August 30, 2004 12:48 PM

"I believe that the fathers heart is coming back into the church. If not, I'm in trouble, aqll dressed up and no place to go, so to speak.I have desired a mentor for years, or at least thought I did. My true desiore is a commited relationship I think."

"BD, God is already using you as father and big brother here on the Ooze, but I believe that he has much more for you, many spiritual children.Bless you in this."

"We have discussed this type of relationship before, and in a discipling relationship, I believe that it must have a peer element? in it... or a mutual respect may be the better way to put it, that makes both in the relationship feel vital, not one "over" the other. There is little love in that relationship or it is an unequal yoking type of thing."

"awesome point"

Message #130409 - This was a reply to message #129288

This very much brings to mind two words that I have received through the years- One is that God would bless me with a large family, and one that I would touch many for the kingdom. I don't believe that I'm ready, but are we ever? Am I beginning to see the dawning of my dreams? Perhaps.

2004-08-10T00:40:00.000-07:00

This weekend was pretty cool. I got up late Saturday, as is my custom, and stayed up late Saturday nite, again my custom, but camping... I typically don't sleep so well. I woke up about 0600 Sunday morning. Well, I actually woke up a while before that, but the cold- I just couldn't sleep.
I got up and rekindled the fire, b-be-qed a couple of hotdogs and played my flute for a bit. I was just thinking that it was so very quiet, hard to play without that control. Made to be played at low volume... and then my brother stuck his head out of his camper and said that it was a lovely alarm clock, but he wasn't interested in an alarm clock. And so I may not have been as attentive to the sermon as I may have meant to be.
Later that day we had a baptismal service that was 6 baptisms in two hours. We spoke into the lives of those being symbolically reborn. Prophesied over each of them. I didn't prophesy over them all, but I tried to. I did leave one go by the way, but she had a pretty good lot of prophesy without me.
And now I am serving my 5 days suspension from work for the thing that I have been most scared of doing all this time. And now it's not so important, on one level, but it's still very important to me.
The pic I was trying to add to my profile, but here it is, and I can't edit worth crap, so... hello!

2004-08-10T00:34:00.000-07:00

That was a helluva sermon

2004-07-25T01:00:00.000-07:00

It's crazy. How do people look at me and even think that I am a Christian? I am just like anyone else from where I look at myself. No difference- except that I love Jesus, and it seems to make the difference.
When I was a young man, I heard from the pulpit, "Do people look at you and your life and want to know Jesus?" What a load of... well, let's just say that it's a responsibility that I don't believe that God wants us to bear.
Anyway, I have shared some "real" music that is just straight forward lyric in the modern language of the writer who happens to be about a 25 year old young man (I think) and I shared it with some friends. One of those friends has since shared with me some Keith Green music that I haven't heard in quite some time.
Amazing. And my little being there, whinny and bitchy but caring and open... God is the one that does it all. Nothing comes from me- less of me and more of Him. That's the key. That's the point.

2004-07-17T14:34:00.000-07:00

I've been challenged a little in my belief about the existence of modern day prophets and what should the factors be in their existence. Some say that the old testament standards should apply. That there are no standards mentioned in the NT and so the OT standards must yet apply.
They are wrong. Corinthians says that there should be a company of prophets to judge a given word.
As well, the gift of prophecy, which they leave no room for, is a result of redemption. It is a proof that the veil between man and God is torn. Wouldn't their existence be a proof that God has become more personal? That prophesy being a gift, as opposed to an office, available to all who would take it up. Things will happen, people will abuse, but that's part of growing in the gift. If you get it right from the get go, perhaps you might consider it as n office, but typically, it takes a bit of time to grow in it.
My experience is that God's grace is huge. When I was early in learning about this, I was allowed to prophesy from my knowledge of plants- flowers. Characteristics of plants that I knew would be substance of the words of encouragement that I had for people... but then again, there are those who don't believe that qualifies as the prophetic. That encouragement isn't part of the heart of God?

2004-06-28T10:21:00.000-07:00

I just spent a lot of time on arguing with some good christian men about reconciliation.
The conflict is over the validity of culture in christianity... one side sees it as the great divider, which I can see.
But there are also a lot of enhancements that could make our lives as christians more effective.
Why are we so threatened by differences?
Why can't we shop and find what works for us and find our lives more effective in evangelism, and worship and liturgy.
As a white guy, indian music is easier to dance to. Its' simpler rhythms are easier to play. The instruments are very quiet, and haunting.much to say, but all said quietly, passionately.
The Orthodox, refer to themsleves as the "The Church" and believe that their liturgy is superior to all others, and each group following- each denomination feel the same way.
I loved that Rick Joyner said that each has a truth that they are keeping, protecting lest we forget. But we still look at our own as superior, and those who pride themselves on being open etc, will go on the offensive if felt threatened. It's just human nature to need to dominate, and this is one more way to do that.

2004-01-27T20:41:00.000-08:00

I was just thinking about the idea of the "twinkling of an eye." I have always heard about Jesus coming in the twinkling of an eye and catching up the saints in the air...
I heard it in a very different light this weekend.
The bride groom is waiting for the "bride without spot or wrinkle" and I caught sight of him waiting anxiously and when His eye sparkles it will signal that he can no longer wait, and gets the okay from the Father.
Still getting a handle on that whole Bride of Christ deal.

2004-01-18T08:54:00.000-08:00

Last night Bonnie had a word about a red and a silver thread that are attached to me, and have been for a long time, weaving a new medicine bag and soon He'll be putting new things in it.

2003-12-29T21:17:00.000-08:00

Just being confronted with so many things at once... Have you ever carried so much before that hadn't been given to you? Have you ever loved so deeply or so selflessly? Is any of this what you think that it is? Is it enough to have sought the best? To have offered your life? To be willing. How will it end?

2003-12-08T01:30:00.000-08:00

Why do we speak as though we are an authority on things that we can really only have opinions about? It seems that there is a possibility that we may preach something other than the gospel and that it will stumble many who are being drawn into the kingdom.
I believe that it was Isaiah who said "How lovely on the mountains are the feet of them that bring good news"
Paul referred to the "good news of the gospel" and admonished us to preach "Christ and Him crucified" (I realize that I'm using a little king james here, but that's how I know these verses off the cuff.)
I believe that Paul taught that it was not up to us to preach the law any longer, but to preach grace, that Jesus wants to know us and that He wants to convict us of sin. He actually went out of His way to tell us to cover the sins of our brothers and sisters, and not seek legal counsel if at all possible, I would say to keep too many from knowing one another's dirty laundry as we tend to disqualify those who we know too much about from ministering to us.
Thus gossip is a heinous sin. It's always on the list when ever He makes one. And the first mention of real gossip was when Ham told his brothers of their fathers drunken nakedness.
I think that the gospel is that Jesus will go to any length to get us to choose Him, and that we being in Him need to work that out in ourselves and be encouraging to others that He has made a way... a narrow way because He is the "door", He is the way, the truth and the light/life. You don't do those things that will stumble someone else in their walk, and the rest is working out your own salvation.

2003-11-23T21:33:00.000-08:00

Saturday I invited Mark to go with me to hang out with some of my wilder friends... real warriors in the spirit- He is one, he fit right in.
We went to Hammond to play, pray for a depressed areas intercessors and pastors, and to give some folks an excuse to gather together. I don't really know what happened there, and I think that's probably a good thing. It was covered.

One woman shared the path the God has had her on has been to break her of pride and prepare her to receive new young converts. It has drawn much controversy and judgement upon her, and yet she knows that this is the past that God has lead her down- it was quite interesting, encouraging and challenging.

When we got there I began to feel the oppression of the place only I felt it very personally- low on purpose, lost identity, I felt as though I would be offensive on a number of levels (as I often do anyway) and Mark reminded me that I am called to provoke the church to truly good works. That THAT is a large part of my identity, and one that I don't always embrace. It's hard to find people who can really commit to loving you when you are a provoke... And then it comes across , to some extent, as bitterness from being left alone. I've thought it myself, but I begin to know better.

2003-11-18T20:44:00.000-08:00

I recently remembered a a prophetic word that I heard during a practice kind of a time and he began to tell me about my wife. In 1998, after I returned from Ireland, it was at a pseudo school. The man said that she was having financial trouble, a health issue and something that I don't remember about the kids. He asked me to verify what he told me, but I couldn't as I hadn't met her yet... funny how things go sometimes.

2003-10-12T23:07:00.000-07:00

Well, I almost broke the most important rule that I laid down for myself regarding this blog. I just went in and changed something that was previously published because I didn't want information to flow quite the way that it might. The most important part of this the honesty_ if it gets written down, it stays on the page, just as though it had been spoken... once it's out there, you can't take it back.
There's always something that you wish that you could take back, but that's part of the game of life- like Bruce Cockburn said, "You pay your money and you take your chance."

I was listening to Graham Cooke and he was saying something to the effect that what you are going through is as much about those around you and how they react and interact with you. The important thing to do is to ask th eFahter what He would have you be in a given situation to those people.
I have known people who have been judged for their short comings (okay, maybe I am one of these people) or lack of health or finance, and people just tell them what to do with their lack and don't help them deal with the actual issues- I think that God is going to call them out for that. It sounds too much like "but didn't I cast out demons in your name?" and I think that God is more worried about the level of glory that you bring to the table than whether your tie is straight.

2003-10-11T23:19:00.000-07:00

Today was the consumation of a couple of weeks expectation gone awry. My mother was near by and didn't give a word in my direction. She didn't call, nor did my sister, who apparently took charge of the trip. She called my one of my best friends to say that they'd be around, but never me, and the plans made with my friend were so contorted by the time to perform them, no one knew what was happening.
Anyway, I am praying to God that He will get closer- allow me to really get a dose of His "Papa" side. He's going to have to or these abandonment issues that I can't seem to get past will continue to fester. And it's hard to be a child when it wasn't ever really a big part of your youth... BUT I have a promise that He will activate a fathers heart within me by giving me that confidence and showing me that He will in fact never leave or abandon me. I think that He's even big enough to beat this one- but I guess that I'll have to give it to Him for that to happen... Well... I'm tryin' to.
iyokiphi

2003-10-09T20:33:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about the verse that speaks of the foolish man who looks in the mirror and walks away forgetting what he saw. Contextually speaking, I've always considered this to be about forgetting what slime I am, but that never seems to be much of a problem.
Last saturday night He challenged me that when He shows me who I am in Him, I forget that.
I forget His grace.
I forget His mercy.
I forget that His plans to use me were tailored for me, or I was designed for them.
The thing that I remember best is that is that everthing that I think of myself, is common for a man like me to think of himself. God doesn't really need for me to take on so much responsibilty, that is why He speaks so often of us as
children. I think that He's serious about that whole children thing, and I'm exploring it's virtue.
iyokiphi
(he is pleased)

2003-09-21T23:12:00.000-07:00

Is it possible that I have, at last met "neo" - "the one"
I have thought of this whole "thing as horse-hockey for a very long time, but today I am becoming forced into considering someone who actually seems to fit the list.
At first I thought tht the list would be too hard for me, because I could only get as far as physical attributes, and then I was lost, but I've begun to realize that the women that I've found to be attractive have had other very attractive bits... music, administrative gifts, servant hearts, similar understanding of the mess that the church is in and why, people groups...
I don't know where the list went, but it is in my head in some form, and I'm feeling pressed to move on it.
I felt as though something was about to happen earlier in the week. I got out a prophetic word that exerts some pressure on my movement that mentions a train and timing. Today I was in corporate prayer and I heard a cuckoo-clock signaling the hour change, and the last words that I heard come out of Neo's mouth were, "I've given God 18 months to give me a spouse"
Can I just say, "oowwwwwww!" I wonder if it's too late to get her e-mail address... Doh!